If you have absolutly nothing better to do right now, I'd reccomend you listen to your favorite asshat talk some baseball with Kevin Orris of Baseball Insiders on the radio from earlier today.
For whatever reason, I sound semi-drunk.
I probably was.
CHICAGO- Over the past several weeks, longtime Cubs organist Gary Pressy has gradually stopped playing the light ballpark organ riffs that typically fill Wrigley 
Field’s stands in favor of more brooding, chilling songs.
“I have to say that lately the sounds coming out of that organ have made me anxious and sad and in no mood to clap along,” said season ticket holder Mike Preston, adding that instead of playing “Hava Nagila” or using his organ to start a “Let’s Go Cubs” chant, Pressy will strike an oppressive minor chord and sustain the unsettling tone for up to an entire minute.
“Yesterday he played a really slow fugue on ‘Take Me Out To The Ballgame’ in this dark, funeral key. It was haunting.”
When asked for comment, Pressy drove reporters away by playing a demented arrangement of “Happy Birthday” on his newly installed 20,000-pipe, seven-story-tall organ.
- Courtesy of the best website ever: The Onion
no commentsBrilliant win for the Cardinals Sunday afternoon. Brilliant series for the Cardinals all weekend long. The Phillies are coming to STL on the ropes after getting worked by the Scrubs. Roy Halladay got lit up on Sunday Night Baseball. The vultures are circling in PA. If the birds can take 6 of 7 against 2 teams that are at least competing for a division title in 2010, then that’s the type of week that can create physical and mental separation between themselves and the Reds… 
The Mel Gibson tapes were made for satellite radio and Howard Stern. You may be one of the cheapasses that wonders why some of us pay for radio. Mel Gibson is the answer. At least twice last week I was crying laughing. Possibly some of the funniest radio of all time…
In the annals of Cardinal baseball history, Dave Ducan’s epitaph won’t mention his ressureaction of Jeff Suppan’s rotting corpse in 2010 as a seminal achievement in his career. Perhaps is should. Sup was an absolute train wreck in Milwalkee and getting mop-up duty out of their bullpen. Now a month after coming back to the Cardinals, he’s able to give 6 innings of 1 run ball? This is borderline miracle-ish…
The Gillette Fusion ProGlide commercials don’t lie. That’s the Ferrari of disposable razors. For the first time since puberty, shaving was actually mildly fun. The damn thing zips around on your face with no tug, no pull and takes about a quarter inch of your skin off as a bonus. It’s the most expensive razor on the market as well. If and when they start writing loans for these, I’d consider one at the right interest rate…
Easy Allen Craig. We’ve already got people wanting to trade Ludwick to get Jon Jay some playing time. We don’t have room for another guy that everyone will want in the OF everyday…
Lady Gaga is without a doubt, the most influential performer in the United States today. St. Louis is about as progressive as your grandmother’s wardrobe. On Saturday night 100’s of people all over downtown were dressed in ridiculous outfits, not giving a shit, having the time of their lives after Gaga played the Kiel Center. Don’t think any other show could have come to this town and had the same effect. Good for her…
Why would you rest Albert Pujols on a Sunday when people are in from out of town to see the Cardinals, you ask? TV. That’s why. Can’t rest him tonight or Sunday because ESPN is televising those games….
This is the new paradigm of entertainment. 1) Somebody finds old outtakes from an angry Winnebego dealer. 2) Those clips get placed on YouTube and become viral, racking up millions of hits. 3) Filmmaker gets curious and decides to find this guy. 4) Winnebego guy has a much more interesting back story than anticipated and the filmmaker makes a movie. 5) Movie becomes critical darling, racking up awards all over the world at film festivals. 6) St. Louis, the non-progressive city mentioned above, doesn’t have a theater that will show it. 7) We settle for watching the trailer again. LINK HERE
Matt Holliday, earning…
no commentsJust an FYI for anything wierd you're seeing or not seeing on The CD today- we're changing name servers and sometimes posts, comments and other can be lost in the switch (for instance a whole post with The Friday Links).
We'll be back to normal by Monday.
Also, I saw a guy wearing a Larry Bigbe jersey tee last night at a bar. I couldn't tell if it was A) the most ironic fan ever B) a terrorist or C) Larry Bigbe himself.
Just when you thought Dandy Dan Caesar was laying low until his Friday column appears, you were completely blindsided by the Wednesday night article regarding the Cardinals' TV broadcasts.
Caesar wrote that all of the Cardinals 2011 games will appear on Fox Midwest, with the exception of about 9 on "free TV" for FOX's Game of the Week.
My initial reaction was to not care - as long as every game is on TV, I'm good.
But then I realized this means the end of the run for Newschannelfive, and how horrible life will be without all those catchy intro songs, Rene Knott, Katie Felts, Frank Cusumano or Deanne Lane interfering with the broadcasts. Drat. (I suppose kudos should go out to the 2FOX for not having Tim Ezell do some wacky segment for their pre/post-game coverage, but it's kind of a no-brainer to leave him at home, so no kudos for them.)
I've never been a fan of Randolph and Horton on the call, but I love when Mike Shannon steps in for a few innings with Jennings. Without a doubt, this has been the only good thing KSDK has brought to the table (no credit for HD broadcasts, sorry). I'm not a big fan of Randolph Sr, but listening to Shannon bullshit with someone he's known for a long time is great TV. Heh heh heh.
So instead of writing the long-overdue eulogy for Channel 5's second tenure of broadcasting Cardinal baseball, let's focus on what FSM needs to do to improve their game coverage:
1) Break up Dan and Al.
It almost sounds like a great two-month reality show that Hooks would crave, but not. They've gone from Dan kissing Al's ass all the time for about five years, to Dan fighting back a little, to boyfriend/girlfriend bickering, and now to a little of everything. Theoretically, TV announcers shouldn't matter too much, because the consumer can see what's going on, and not have to have it described like the radio. Danny Mac isn't great, nor terrible by any means. If he stays, I'd be fine with that. But it's time to cut your losses on the 300 year contract that Hrabosky signed. The least FSM could do is put in a new pair of announcers once or twice a week.
2) Include Mike Shannon on play-by-play.
I believe KSDK puts him in for three innings or so every Sunday. This is good. Do this. A lot.
3) Continue the long pre-game/post-game shows.
Both shows are decently informative, and as I'm sure you know, the post-game LaRussa interviews are a thing of beauty. My only beef is that if the Cardinals lose big, be honest with us: they sucked. Or if they give up nine runs in the 9th, don't pretend like it's just another loss. You're going to talk about how wonderful they are after a win, I get that. But there's nothing wrong with being critical.
The shows are probably a pain in the ass to put together night after night, but it is a good background show for my prime internet time. Plus once in a while they do something completely asinine, and I love it. Well, "it's good for the internet" might be a better assessment.
4) Posting Clips Online.
Welcome to 2010, foxsportsmidwest.com! Thank you for finally posting video clips online. What would we do without the hijinx of Brendan Ryan and Joe Mather this year? (It's a question for the fans only, since we know "be in first place" would be the correct answer)5) Change the set for Jack Clark.
The guy's face blends in with the rest of the studio. Something's gotta give.
6) Start the slow death of old-timer stats.
It all begins with weening Al Hrabosky off of using pitcher Wins as an important stat (or you could just quit letting him in the broadcast booth, whichever). Why haven't any of the stat-bloggers created some kind of fake nicotine patch to get people off of using pitching Wins and RBIs as 100% rock-solid stats? Seems like a project that would distract us from our day jobs even more for a day or two.
I'm not saying to put up VORP and WARP on the screen when Albert comes to bat in 2011, but a slow evolution of making us smarter won't be a bad thing. Walk rate? Line drive rate?
Maybe "they" don't want us knowing how bad Aaron Miles and Randy Winn really are(!). FSM does show things like OPS once in a while, just to tease me.
7) Take Some Chances.This could include tons of things. Give established Cardinal bloggers a two minute segment every week? Twitter/Facebook in-game giveaways? More graphics? Minor league highlights? Jimmy the Cat Hayes pulling pranks on fans? Have an ex-player teach viewers how to steal signs? Hell, I don't know. I'm sure they could come up with something better in an hour-long meeting, but the broadcast seems kind of bland. It doesn't have to be "!FuNtiMe KrazY HoUr!" every night, just a little more than Dan and Al having another lover's spat.
Those are seven suggestions off the top of my head - anything else?Hooks sent me this link to SeatGeek yesterday, which is a nifty little site that breaks down average ticket prices to sporting events and concerts on the secondary market. The piece he sent me is another illustration of the ass backwards retardery of the National League Central. 
Despite the Cubs dwelling approximately 47 games back in the standings, average ticket prices at Chicago’s Largest Beer Garden more than double those at Great American, Miller or PNC. Although I realize that Wrigley Field is a historical landmark that attracts even the most casual of fans, this just seems weird to me. Somehow this baseball stadium has become one of those places people feel compelled to see in person, much like the Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore or the Harry Potter attractions at Universal Studios.
However, the sheer stupidity behind this is impossible to ignore. Does anyone realize that most of these other parks are actually much nicer? Am I the only one who has noticed this? They have unobstructed views! Seats that sometimes have cushions! REAL TOILETS! Even at my most impartial, I can’t ignore the fact that this stadium is a nearly 100 year old concrete relic that has at one point rained rocks on its guests.
ROCKS!
Yet people are willing to spend a small fortune to see a game within its walls. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Although, I guess, good job Chicago Cubs? Despite being an abysmal pock on baseball’s history, they somehow manage to at least lead the division in SOMETHING.
Anyway, it’s been my own personal policy to not ever actually pay for tickets to Cubs games and it’s one I’ve executed quite flawlessly over my nearly six year tenure in Chicago. Less one Cardinals game in 2005, (for which I paid $20 for a standing room only ticket,) I’ve really only been to games that have been on someone else’s corporate dime.
I HAVE PRINCIPLES, DAMMIT!
I mean, if I’m going to be subjected to “Go, Cubs, Go” and Ronnie Woo Woo, the only money I’m willing to spend on it is that which will lull me into the level of intoxication necessary to prevent me from stabbing fellow patrons with a fork. Now, I’ve admittedly not been to Great American, Minute Maid or PNC, but I’ve had the pleasure of seeing games at both Miller Park and at least 13 Busch Stadiums. (There have been 13, right? I’ve started to lose track.) These have all been enjoyable experiences enhanced by the arena in which I watched them. I felt downright classy at times!
Contrarily, I always feel like I should take a shower after I leave a game at Wrigley Field. I just can’t understand why more people don’t feel this way.
The other startling, albeit less surprising statistic, is one that points out that of the 10 most expensive games played in the NL Central this year, 8 are between the Cubs and Cardinals with the other two played between the Cubs and White Sox. No offense to the other four teams in the division, but YIKES! That just seems kind of embarrassing.
Again, it isn’t really a huge shocker, as these are both noted rivalries involving large markets and rabid fan bases, all of whom have experienced some degree of success over the past five years. Plus, the alternatives are games involving the Reds, Brewers, Pirates and Astros and really, who cares? But I still find it kind of sad that a competitive, division leading team STILL cannot scalp their seats for a premium. If the true measure of achievement is how firmly a team can wallet rape their fans, then the Reds are a total failure no matter what the standings might otherwise suggest. Their rape is simply not forcible enough! On the other hand, Cardinals fans practically have to sell a kidney on the black market to see the Redbirds take on the Cubbies at Busch this August. I’ve seen a handful of Cards/Cubs games at Wrigley, but have never made it to one in St. Louis before.
And unless my career in magic REALLY takes off, that’s not likely going to change anytime soon. Call me, Cris Angel!
no commentsThis is traditionally the one day of the sporting year that nothing happens. 
No baseball, football, basketball or hockey. Not a single NASCAR race; nary a championship in a minor athletic competition. Nothing. Nada. Zip.
We watched the All-Star Game last night and for the first time in 14 years, the NL won. Meaning that if the St. Louis Cardinals were to take the World Series to 7 games, that game would be played in Busch Stadium. Of course, the chances of this actually taking place are slim.
So I’d say that there is a .1% chance that last night’s 3-run double by Atlanta Cather Brian McCann or the on-the-toes outfield play of Chicago Cub Marlon Byrd could be the most important play in the Cardinals season.
If that.
I won’t lie. The All-Star Game is very boring to me. As are most exhibition competitions. We all know that these guys have just gotten huge (sometimes up to 6 figures) to go to a city for a couple days and party. The game is incidental to them… the poo-nanny and parties are the biggest draw. But unlike every other sport, this game does have impact on games that really do count- deciding home field advantage for the World Series.
Now, simplistically using the Cardinals as an example, I mentioned that a game 7 would be played in an NL ballpark. But more importantly, the NL will start off the World Series at home. There is no way to verify this claim, but baseball, I do believe, is a sport where familiarity produces increased production. So it’s to the home field team in the World Series advantage to get those first 2 games under their belt at home. You know the park and it’s quirks. You’re comfortable. Generally, the other league’s opponent is not.
In 2004, I believe the Cardinals could have beaten the Boston Red Sox. But they had to go on the road to Fenway for games 1 & 2. The Red Sox dealt them a huge body blow before they could get back to St. Louis. By then, it was too late. Boston was comfortable. The Cardinals were not. And that was determined though the All-Star Game that season.
MLB’s mid-summer classic is mired in a tough spot. It wants to be fun for the guys that, probably, deserve to have fun at it. But it also does have an impact on 2 teams come late October. So which way does a skip play it?
I guess the way they did last night. Try to win and keep some match-ups alive, but still get everyone in there. It’s fence riding, yes. But I don’t know in today’s media culture if a manager has the stones to do something like pitch David Price 7 innings. Or keep Albert Pujols in the whole game. Personally? I’d love to see a real game with real implications attached.
Or maybe just go back to the old way and make it a farce and have John Kruk bat lefty against Randy Johnson losing control of his fastball.
But enough with the middle road. Pick a side. Make it something. And then we can decide if we want to watch.
no commentsBaseball Hall of Fame member Ozzie Smith has had many illustrious distinctions in his career. 
Yesterday, getting grilled by CardsDiaspora.com, will not rank among them.
In the 10 or so minutes we spent with the best SS the St. Louis Fighting Cardinals have ever employed, we covered more than a few topics: Was he offended by the RBI Baseball portrayal of him as a fat white guy? Had he ever been offered a protehsis to sign? Did he really have a swimming pool shaped like a glove in his back yard?
Remember... these are the questions that you posted and wanted answered, so I was nothing more than a trained dog. (Refresh your memory LINK HERE)
Unfortunalty, I wasn't able to get the ones hammering him for endorsing a divorce lawyer. But after the RBI Baseball question, I'm not going to lie- I felt a little wierd. It ALWAYS looks easier on paper.
Other things we covered during the visit: prostate exams, his favorites double play wing-man, just what the hell is wrong with the 2010 Cards and a Ozzie admonishment at the NL's pitiful All-Star Game performance the last decade.
Also, re-listening to this, it seems like we're in a nasal off. I assure that I've not doctored this recording in any way and those are our actual voices. I apologize for that in advance...
Ozzie talked to us because he's on a promitional campaign to end prostate cancer. Check out the LINK HERE for more information on this cause from Depend (note: the website link is a little janky, may not load...). And if you're over 50 and black, make sure to get a prostate exam.
They really nailed their demo with the CD, huh?
NOTE: Gift card winner will be announced in the comments here @ 2p CST
You voted over the weekend and right now as the Cardinals enter the All-Star Game break, you have 86% confidence that the St. Louis baseball team will make the playoffs.
That’s down from 99% in Week 1. And has dropped precipitously in the past 3 weeks.
Now watch this clip and marvel. I needed to share this ASAP. LINK HERE
Whoa.
That was a painful series in Colorado people. Real painful. Alleged terrorist and friend of the site Slick Willy was at all three games. And if his texts were any indication on how Cardinal Nation feels after getting the pointy end of the broom up the tookus… then we’re in trouble folks.
The worst part is that the runs were there… but now the bullpen falls apart. For months it’s been a stagnant offense that was the culprit. It’s like these guys are trying to mess with our heads.
I tweeted last week that for the first time in 2010, I was not 100% sure the Cardinals were making the playoffs this season. I still put it at about 95% last week. But as of yesterday, I think the confidence meter is dropping precipitously.
So much so, that we need to do a poll. Answer now or over the weekend and I’ll create the Cardinal Fan Confidence Meter and post it on Monday.
Now… The Friday Links
Go forth. Enjoy the weekend. Watch the World Cup Final on Sunday and drink a beer for me.
