Some would argue around the middle of June or so, but for most of us, we really started losing interest mid to late August and officially threw in the towel after the Cards squandered every inch of ground they made up with that sweep in Milwaukee last week.
But I think we still kind of felt guilty about it, right? Kind of like we had some sort of obligation to tune in every night and fire off a few mean-spirited Tweets before heading to bed.
The NFL returned Thursday and night and I, for one, didn't think about baseball even a second during that game. Hell, I forget what baseball even was.
Don't get me wrong. I love baseball. But it just not that fun of a sport when your team isn't 'in' it. The day to day grind is it's charm. But when the grind actually turns into a grind, it's hard to get fired up about any of it. Worse, you just kind of want it to be all over so the playoffs can start.
Makes you wonder just how Baltimore or Pittsburgh have anyone interested in their teams. It can't be as bad as The Wire made it seem up there, right?
On the other hand, I could give 2 shakes about Green Bay or New Orleans as a fan. But I sat my ass down and watched the whole game. The NFL is just way sexier. And when the Rams actually have a chance to be good... well, that's just damn good news.
So let's meet before the game Sunday and celebrate the end of the 2011 Cardinals.
What's that, you'd like a shameless plug? You can read athooks @ SB Nation all season long... LINK HERE
- You knew what was coming. LINK HERE
- Eyebrows are more important than you think. LINK HERE
- Drunk moose get stuck in a tree. LINK HERE
- How do I get a pair of MAGs? LINK HERE
- Everything you ever wanted to know about street art. LINK HERE
- This is a very dangerous link. LINK HERE
And if you feel super altruistic, do something productive. Like watch football for 7 hours Sunday instead of 8.
If you haven't heard, Nyjer Morgan, the pint-sized (and skilled) outfielder for the Milwaukee Brewers decided to unload on Albert Pujols after the season finale against the Cardinals Wednesday night:
(Yes, the above screengrab of Morgan's Twitter is real. Check out the LINK HERE)
By the way, Nyjer's alter-ego is T-Plush, in case you were wondering. But that's besides the point, because only nerds call out people they won't have to face for months and months. Hell, I bet many of you TLR haters even hope Don Tony is around for the first series against the Brewers next year to see Morgan wear one and have to walk down to first base and look Pujols in the eye...
...errr... you know, if he signs and shit.
Morgan will probably come out and talk about how Cardinal fans are way to serious and that he was only joking and that everyone needs to chillax. And to a certain extent, he's probably right.
Until you call a man out.
At which point you're chump ass better be ready to step. And big surprise, Mr. Morgan isn't ready to dance with Albert. And he never will be. He's a swing and run fighter; the ultimate bitch.
But in his honor, let's pretend he and Pujols entered the squared circle and got it on. Here's 10 more things that are more likely than Nyjer Morgan beating "Alberta's" ass:
10- Tino Martinez number retirement night at Busch Stadium.
9 - 'Super Freaky Muscato' presented by Tony LaRusa.
8- Rick Horton, Robert C. Frick award winner.
7- 2 men on the 'Kiss Cam'.
6- A Cubs World Series title.
5- Jack Buck re-uniting with Mike Shannon.
4- Jason LaRue and David Perron doing the 'Oklahoma' drill.
3- Darryl Porter D.A.R.E night.
2- Orlando Pace use The Arch as a banana hammock.
1- Unearth a tape of Bob Gibson smiling on the mound.
Time to get real, T. Plush. El Hombre would work you like stripper the day before rent's due. You're 5 foot nothing. A hundred and nothing. And one of these days you're going to have to atone for that big ol' yap of yours and it's going to be shut.
Probably for good.
Let's check the pulse of Cardinal Nation...
It's hard to not think that at the moment, you know, falling 10.5 games out of first place in the NL Central, but it's true. Houston has 47 wins. That's a awful baseball team. Baltimore has 55 wins. Terrible. So the Cardinals being 7 games over .500 is, in comparison, not fair to be labled 'bad'.
If anything, they're more of like a horrible girlfriend that you keep giving shots to after they show you even a glint of hope, only to get it thrown back in your face the second you feel like progress is getting made. We had some fun last week with the whole "just stop it" gimmick, but really, deep down, we're Cardinal fans. And nothing else seemed to be working... so we kept it up all through a sweep of the Brewers.
Suddenly, gaining a game a week for 4 weeks and another sweep of the Brewers was what it was going to take the NL Central. Very unlikely? Yes. Impossible? Close, but not quite.
But the 2011 Cardinals did what they always do when they start getting some heat - roll over and burp.
Losing 2 of 3 to the reeling Reds at home followed by another impotent game at the plate against Randy Wolf and the Birds are, if not mathematically, officially done. You can't close a double digit lead in three weeks. Especially when the opponent is 24-3 in the last 27 not against the Cardinals.
It's not like we didn't know it. But dammit, it still sucks. The Cardinals will end the season around 10 games over .500, so it's hard to complain when there are fans of the Astros and Orioles out there. Then again, I think we can all agree that from the second spring training started to right at this very moment you're reading this - that 2011 has been full of more pain than any season than we can remember.
Wainwright, Franklin, Pujols' wrist, Holiday's... well everything - It was another lost season in the historic career of one of the best players in the past 50 years.
Oh, and by the way, he may only have 11 games left at home in a Cardinals uniform.
We gave this team ample opportunity to win us over in 2011. And at every turn, they took that goodwill and made you look stupid for even thinking that doing something was an option.
Time to cut the rope. Move on. And dump them.
At least for the next month.
You're not a dumbass. In fact, I think you're pretty smart. Even brilliant in spurts. So why in the name of fuck are you getting sucked back into this?
We've established that this Cardinals team is no good for you, your health, your family or your life in general. You weened yourself from the teat of baseball and even got excited for football again (The Rams are 4-0 if you haven't heard). And while a fan "never gives up" or "never says die", it's still, even after a 3 game sweep, going to take a HISTORIC collapse for the Brewers to not win the NL Central this season.
Key word? Historic.
You know how many teams have lost a division after leading by over 10 games with less than 30 remaining? I can't verify this, but my guess is NONE. ZERO. NADA.
Even if the DeadBirds sweep the next 3 against the Brewers, they'd still have to gain a game a week to get to even.
In other words - please, PLEASE don't think that you're seeing some sort of miracle. You're not. We promise.
Now, the Friday Links...
- Seal. LINK HERE
- Sometimes the jokes write themselves. LINK HERE
- If movie hotels were reviewed on Trip Advisor. LINK HERE
- Post-It War. The website. LINK HERE
- Things Apple is worth more. The website. LINK HERE
- Read any book, ever in less than 1 minute. LINK HERE
- Do you know how other parts of the world eat? LINK HERE
No, let's thank the dudes that wake up every morning and do some of the work that makes our country run, but we wouldn't do in a million years. The garbage men. The waitresses. The builders. These men and women get after it and come home after a hard day and don't have the luxury of dicking around with a computer for 8 hours a day. So for you guys, who take the time to make The CD one of few you use your free time to play with... THANK YOU!
Lastly, the shirt that Fresh WC is sporting in San Diego all weekend. Damn straight.
That's it. That's the week. Have a big 3-day weekend and come see us next week. We're sure the Cardinals will be in worse shape then they are now.
You probably didn't think we were serious yesterday. But we were.
Listen. I know it's tough. I know you invested a ton in this season and really were hoping for more. Hell, I know you had this 3 game series against the Brewers circled on your calendar for a while. But it's over.
And it ain't coming back. Historic meltdowns don't happen. Not against teams that can't win more than 2 in a row without fudging it up.
So take a deep breath and say it with me...
No. No you don't.
Don't even think about it.
I said NO. Dead bodies twitch after death sometimes.
1 - We've all been. You're buddy starts to break himself off a little something something and you can't just sit there and watch, right? Blue's aversion to everything about situation is not only familiar, it's heroic. No CBing today.
2 - That awkward period of baseball where the long pants over the cleats wasn't the norm, but the thigh-highs were on their way out. Leaving 2" will never, ever comeback.
3 - My word. Have you ever seen tighter pants on a baseball player? Were these Dri-Fit?
4 - We've all seen this pic before. And certainly, it's been noted that Jimmy Edmonds is throttling his teammate's penis with his legendary grip. But has it been pointed out just how aggressive the defense of this is. What looks to be Mike Matheny is basically swatting away futility the vice grip from hell.
5 - The face makes this pic. The intensity is simply amazing. Really is.
Baseball is unique in varied ways, but the one thing that always intrigued me about the sport is the length of the season.
Not that it's too long, or that it's too short. But just that, well... it's long. From March until October, you can watch a professional baseball game almost every single night if you really wanted to. More specifically, the ebb and flow of your mood can vary wildly within the construct of championship set.
In 2011, we've already been subjected to a litany of emotions. From the disappointment of the Pujols non-signing, to the Wainwright news, to the Berkman renaissance to the Ryan Franklin meltdown... you get the point. And don't all those things feel like a million years ago?
I bring this up because I've checked out of everything Cardinals for the 2011 season.
Maybe you're still watching every night. Maybe you're still checking the box score. Good on you. If you're enjoying yourself, then who am I to quesiton how you get that enjoyment (legally). Personally, my time is more valuable to me. If 25 paid men can't muster a shit about their season, why should I?
So until I saw a headline today on a site I work for that the Cardinals took 3 of 4 from Pittsburgh this weekend, I assumed they split. Or lost 3 of 4. A month ago I would have been dissecting at bats and individual games on this here site and now I couldn't tell you if the team won or not unless I happen upon the news. It's just funny how all those things and all the levels of interest happened in the same season... and there are still quite a few games remaining.
It's on to football for me. So if things start to get weird here on the site as the games dwindle away, don't say I didn't warn you. It's going to happen. And we'll get back to the baseball stuff when the playoffs start. And then the Hot Stove will be hotter than ever for the Cards. And then the new cycle starts all over again. But we've got a month in limbo. And it sucks.
Maybe the Cardinals can even watch this year and see what they're missing out on. Then again, they’d probably just remembered they’re rich without caring, so what’s the point.