Cardinals Diaspora - A St. Louis Cardinals blog
MLB just won't stop putting out crappy products. We really thought this was the year!
Trust us, we would love to be lazy and not bring you another twelve days of Cardinal Crapmas items, but obviously they gave us no choice. With so much to talk about since the season ended, we're not just doing this to kill time for once. We've got legit reasons:
1) MLB knows that people will buy whatever they toss out online and in stores all over the country, thus a lot of useless crap is available for purchase.
2) You like it when we're jerks.
So let's get things going this year with a little irony. Everyone knows money played the biggest role in the Pujols mega-deal, but it's really the puppet master'ing of Dan Lozano that made the deal a reality. Ha ha MLB Shop. Real funny.
Believe it or not, the Pujols Hand Puppet is on clearance for 12 bucks. Be sure to pick a couple up so you can vent your frustrations on Albert via (ahem, slightly racist) conversations like this: Left Hand Albert Puppet: Hay mang, 'member de statue dey put up of me? How has nobody pooped on dat teeng yet?
Right Hand Albert Puppet: Es in God's hangs bro. Le'ss pray dat we get more stachus in Las Angeles, or Anaheim, wherever we play de beisbol now.
Left Hand Albert Puppet: When do we take off dees Cardinal juniform?
Right Hand Albert Puppet: I'm sad ang cryeeng. Jus like de Khalil Greene puppet.
[Note: The Albert Puppets died on the way back to their home planet]
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Albert Pujols hasn't fought many losing battles in his career. In fact, when he's been pushed to the brink? Greatness.
But starting with full page ad in the Post-Dispatch sports section, moving to his press conference in Anaheim Saturday and continuing with his media blitz with his wife today, Albert Pujols is fighting a battle that he can't win.
Because he's Albert Pujols, he still thinks he can salvage this thing, but he can't. He won't. And it's embarrassing to have to say:
Just stop it Albert. It's over. Shut it up.
By 'this thing', I mean the public perception of how he left St. Louis. He wants you to believe that this was the Cardinals fault. They're the ones that low balled him with a 5 year offer. They're the ones that wouldn't offer him a personal services contract after the 10 year deal was up. They're the ones that were all business when the lovable superstar just wanted some TLC.
Sigh.
The Cardinals also are the ones that went 10/years 210 million (if not more, at least equal with the 10/254 in CA after taxes and cost of living) knowing that it was going to drag the team down the latter part of this decade.
And while the DeWitt's probably didn't go overboard on the warm and fuzzies for Albert, I think that's pretty disingenuous. Isn't that what the 'Best Fans In Baseball' do? Shower people with as close to unconditional love as there is in sports?
The person services contract? Perhaps the most brazen money grab in the history of professional sports. We're really thinking that after 20 years and a Hall of Fame enshrinement, they wouldn't be willing to give Albert a taste to just hang around? Bullshit.
Maybe Pujols knows he's not winning this battle. Maybe he's taking his PR flack's advice and at least creating some sort of reasonable doubt and happy to leave it at that.
But something tells me that Pujols believes it when he thinks a :30 minute phone conversation with Artie Moreno was worth more than 11 years of adulation beyond reproach. That St. Louis is just going 'through a phase' and they'll come around for El Hombre. After all, they always did.
It's over, though. And no matter what happens in Los Angeles, Pujols is the guy that chose money over memories. Cash over companionship. By the way, that's his call. More power to you brother.
Just don't come back to my town and try to convince me otherwise. We get it... you're gone.
You don't have to be a dick about it.
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In MLB's Holiday Catalog, Nike gives a little inside scoop on what they knew about Ryan Braun before the rest of us:
"Between a body that defies the odds..."
Yup, I'd say so.
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It's been a crap-tastic 24 hours or so for the few and proud of us that know the Cardinals aren't going to be as good the next few years without the services of the best player in baseball.
Humor is the best medicine. So let's look at few gems that have been sent in to The CD the past day.
From the Next Media Animation (aka the crazy Taiwanese animation) --
From BND.com --
From great American Robin Rath, comes this e-mail, culled from the all-Cardinals fantasy league he is in:
"Men. Today is a sad day. I have been distraught. I have been unhappy. I have been downright school girl sad.
But today is about the future.
Today is about licking our wounds, rubbing some dirt on it, and running to first base, full sprint, Rex The Wonder Dog style.
Let me tell you what I believe.I believe in Team. I believe in Us. I believe in a thing called love. I believe in Cardinal Nation.
I believe in Waino, and Carp, and HiMe, and Harris. I believe in Sauce, and Poop Lip, and Lyle, and Scrabble, and Salsa. I believe that Mike Matheny is a better influence on Yadier Molina than Albert ever could be. I believe that Mike believes in Bryan Anderson and that’s all I need to know.
I believe that a fat Elvis, is still Elvis, and Elvis is great at any weight. I believe that 9 out of 10 moms choose Skippy. I believe that Mr. Freese needs a better nickname. I believe in Tyler Greene.
I say again sirs, I believe in Tyler Greene.
I believe that Lego, LL Jon Jay, Tortie, Add-Wrong, and some guy named Erik Komatsu will be more than ample. I will proudly don my Ryan Ludbillard jersey, and I will wear my jean shorts, and I will wear my work boots. And I will gladly pay $9 for a smooth Busch Beer or an easy drinking Busch Light.
They can take our lives, but they will never take OUR FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am Cardinal Nation.
I repeat: I AM Cardinal Nation.I am Cardinal Nation.WE, are Cardinal Nation."
And from Bill Ivie:
Off-season? There is no such thing for the Cardinals this winter. Let's enjoy what we can and try to find some humor in getting dumped.
Have a great weekend. And if you find interesting web gems, please pass them along via the 'CONTACT' tab above.
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Albert Pujols, I love you. 
Fuck you.
It’s been 11 years, man. 11 years we’ve been together. From the very first game you ever played on Monday April 2nd 2001, it’s been a torrid affair. You, going out pretty much every game and killing it. Me, traveling far and near telling everyone that would listen and some that wouldn’t just how great you are. Us, sharing in some pretty spectacular times and some gut wrenching lows.
You didn’t know me, Albert. But we were a team.
And as much as you prayed about your decision to leave me for 250 million dollars to move to LA, something tells me the big guy upstairs didn’t remind you just how many people ‘ME’ really is. Because ‘ME’ isn’t Aaron Hooks. Me is 45K people that pack Busch Stadium 81 times a season. Me is the million people that live in St. Louis. Me is Cardinal Nation as a collective that believed that were special.
Today, Albert, you proved us all wrong.
Nothing can change 445 home runs. Or the 2,073 hits Or the multiple MVP awards. Those are part of our history together. But when you said money wasn’t the most important thing, you should have clarified – the money was the only thing. Because you knew the limitations of what your Cardinal family could provide and when they went above and beyond, you used them for leverage to get more jack from someone else.
More power to you, bub. You’re an American now and it’s a free market. You got the most money. You lost the most currency.
Up until around 8:30 this morning, I really, truly believed that you were a smart enough man to understand what you had in St. Louis. The unequivocal support. The rapt attention of everyone. The adulation of everybody. That you had an real grasp on how iconic you could have made yourself to the Cardinals, and by proxy, St. Louis. That the value of guys like me, constantly beating the drum on your excellence and your charity work would be worth more over the long haul than an extra 30 million dollars right now.
You pissed on that, Albert.
Now you’re headed to Los Angeles. To be a big star. And I’m sure that you’ll find some really nice people that are going to clap really loud for you the next few years. They’re going to tell you how much they love you and how great you are for LA.
Then?
Then you’re going to decline in baseball production, Albert. It’s OK, It happens to the best of ‘em. And when that happens, you’re going to find yourself in a lonely spot. LA doesn’t look back fondly on anything. It’s at this point, you’re going to come crawling back to me, Albert.
Save your fucking time, sir.
You have every right to take more money and not play baseball for my team. I’ve got rights, too. And I’m exercising my right to tell you to pound sand. Enjoy the warm weather and the big paycheck Albert. But when you finally realize how good you had it with me – and you WILL – I’ll have moved on.
I’ll still have the good times, sure. And I do appreciate all the good times more than you know. But I’m done with you Albert. I’ve started the process of moving on. And frankly, I never thought I’d say this, but I don’t give a shit about what you do from this day forward. None of us do.
In the end, I don’t think there’s a more appropriate song ever than Wilco’s ‘Glad It’s Over’:
“I’ve said what I want, to put it mildly. I hate you 100%... I mean that kindly.”
Thanks for everything. And nothing.
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This. Is. Exhausting. 
I love Twitter. I think that most of the people that visit this site know this. But the past few days have been downright unbearable if you’re a Cardinals fan. Pujols is LEAVING. Pujols is STAYING. Pujols is ABOUT TO STAY OR LEAVE. Every other Tweet or Facebook post is about Albert Pujols. It’s draining.
Here’s what we know:
+ When you get every single baseball executive and every single prominent baseball reporter in the same hotel for a week and every single baseball executive and every single prominent baseball reporter is trying to prove their worth… you get an inordinate amount of shit information.
+ Albert Pujols is going to get north of 200M wherever he decides to play.
And other than that, I don’t know if we can really be sure of anything. I mean, besides the fact that Pujols is keeping an eye on every female that comes in and out of Dan Lozano’s suite. It’s unreal the amount of information that’s going around and I can’t be sure of any of it.
Here’s things I’m wondering:
1. Where did all these Cardinal fans come from that are so quick to write off the Pujols era and kiss him goodbye? Because he’ll be overpaid in 2019 or 2020? Quick question, are you going to be alive in 2020? I certainly hope you are, but you very well could not. So concerning yourself with the payroll of a team 8 years from now seems not only curious, but stupid.
2. Why are fans of pro sports teams obsessed with payroll? You know that beer is going to be a quarter more per cup in 2012 regardless of Pujols playing first or not. You know that ticket prices are going up in 2012 regardless of Pujols playing first or not. So if we’re going to be paying more for the Cardinals in 2012, shouldn’t we want to see Pujols? You don’t get anything back if the Cardinals make more profit than they were supposed to. So why the hell do you care about the teams budget? They can break even for all I care… I just want to see baseball.
3. How we got so fucking spoiled. Dude goes .299 with 99 RBI’s after 2 weeks on the DL and we’re ready to kick his ass to the curb? The Cardinals will NOT be better without Pujols in the next 3 years, under any circumstances. You want him gone? Ok. But don’t expect a better team. These jacklegs that are so dismissive of losing THE BEST PLAYER OF THE DECADE are a little short sighted, no?
4. Sorry. Can’t help it… IT’S NOT YOUR MONEY> Why do you care what he makes?
We’ll have plenty of reaction when this deal is finally done. Until then, check out the post below for some feeds you need to follow for up to date… well, crap.
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Day 1 of the MLB Winter Meetings got hot and heavy early. Fielder to the O's? Rollins to the Cards? Reyes to the Marlins for 106M... right, I know.
Oh. The Marlins really did pay 106M for Reyes? Thank goodness the SEC is getting involved with the Hot Stove then... It's getting CRAZY!
As far as the Albert Pujols situation, it looks like the Cardinals and Pujols' agent Dan Lozano met for a couple hours, broke, met for another hour later on. And then Mo went to call his wife from the hotel room and Lozano went to have nasty group sex with a harem of Dallas whores. At least that's what Jayson Stark reported.
Since ESPN can't beat down their Tebowner for 5 minutes to give MLB a little off-season love, let's make a little list of people that you should be following the next 3 days in Dallas to get up to the minute information about every player you care about. Plus hundreds more you don't.
- Brit Ghiroli (Baltimore Beat) -- LINK HERE
- Buster Olney (ESPN) -- LINK HERE
- Danny Knobler (CBS Sports) -- LINK HERE
- Ken Rosenthal (Fox Sports) -- LINK HERE
- Derrick Goold (Cardinals Beat) -- LINK HERE
- Jim Salisbury (Philly Beat) -- LINK HERE
- Matt Gelb (Philly Beat) -- LINK HERE
- Jon Heyman (SI) -- LINK HERE
- Gordon Edes (Boston Beat) LINK HERE
- Joel Sherman (NY Yankees/Mets) -- LINK HERE
- Jeff Wilson (Rangers Beat) -- LINK HERE
- MLB Trade Rumors (MLB) -- LINK HERE
- Joe Strauss (Cardinals Beat) -- LINK HERE
- Eye On Baseball (CBS) -- LINK HERE
- MLB Rumor Mill (MLB) -- LINK HERE
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You.
Yes, you.
It's been 24 long months, hasn't it? You've been at bars talking about it. You've been a work talking about it. You've been at home, funerals, car washes, hot dog stands and even baseball games talking about it. And now, your clarity awaits.
"IT" is the contract that's been hanging over St. Louis for the past two years. The biggest free agent in the history of St. Louis sports is going to have a contract soon. The team and dollars are TBD.
Starting Monday, the MLB Winter Meetings commence in Dallas TX. The Cardinals delegation will be in attendance as well as Albert Pujols' agent Dan Lozano. Traditionally this is the week where the big ticket free agents are bagged and tagged. Multi-millionaires celebrate the Holidays just like you and me.
So they're wont to not push back their negotiations too far beyond this week.
Oh, and did we mention that the hotel these meetings are being called at is the same place A-Rod signed his 252M deal back in the day?
Both sides have been dug in for some time.
The Cardinals big talking points? Worst year ever in 2011. First time on DL in 2011. No other team really in the bidding at the level Pujols wants. Past performance not indicative of future results.
Team Pujols? Iconic stature with the team and city. A historically great first 11 seasons. The opportunity to sell his milestones now and forever. The fans want the man back. Real bad.
In a vacuum, both sides have points. Pick a side and I can argue the other. But ultimately it comes down to what these two sides want.
And in our heart of hearts, we can't believe that Pujols and The Cardinals both don't want each other back. I think that the rest of the market feels the same way, hence the lack of enthusiasm for the greatest hitter of our generation.
Sure, the nasty Lozano business is making him work a bit harder to prove his worth. Sure, the Cardinals are probably being a bit cold to a guy who was wildly underpaid the past decade. But that will be water under the bridge in one way or another after this week.
Cardinal fans, it's a good week. We're going to get some closure. The worst thing in life is just not knowing. And after this week we're going to know something.
Good or bad, we're going to know SOMETHING.
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No, unfortunately we don't have plans for Albert Week, Part II. A random rumor pops up every couple days, so I've got a feeling we'll have enough to talk about for a while.But today we want to take you back to that historic morning, one year ago, when Albert's Song took low-level Cardinal blogs by storm.
To refresh your memory - a year ago we set aside a full week here at the CD in an attempt to raise awareness that #5 needed to re-sign with the Cardinals. We made a nifty little photoshop picture, we built houses in the Dominican, gave $1.2 million to charity and most importantly, put together this touching video tribute to Albert, sung by our very own athooks:
It still brings tears to my eyes, and I'm sure it did for the couple hundred readers we have. Wait, what's that weird, large number under the video mean?
Holy shit - 12,500+ people have watched this? With 21 likes and 2 dislikes, that means an overwhelming majority of people weren't pleased, but weren't disappointed with giving us a minute of their time. And if Cards Diaspora ever had a motto, that might be it.
With a number like that, you can bet your sweet ass that Hooks will be singing again at some point down the road, whether the news on Albert is good or bad. We're taking suggestions.
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Pujols to the Cubs? 
Come on Cardinal Nation.You know better.
2012 is a Presidential election year, and if you’re in Missouri, pretty much everything other than 1 senate seat is up for grabs. Over the next 10 months you’re going to see things you don’t want to see. 9/11 first responders being denied health care coverage by Democrats! Tax breaks for the super 1 percenters by the Republicans! Mexico repossessed by Rick Perry! Females run out of America by Herman Cain!!
All of it’s a bunch of bullshit that’s trying to scare you into doing something. In the case of politicos, it’s to vote for the other guy.
Baseball isn’t any different.
Dan Lozano knows that we’re heading into December. In less than 2 weeks, the Winter Meetings will begin in Dallas and the Winter Meetings are traditionally where the big ticket free agents start locking in on serious contract talks and actually signing deals. Makes sense that the PR game would begin about right now, then. Right?
So leaking a story to the STL media that the Cubs had serious interest in Pujols seems like a pretty shrewd move. Cardinal fans are, predictably, going ape over the possibility of their hero heading to the North Side of Chicago. And the Pujols camp figures it can’t hurt to have the Cardinals feel that heat before they really sit down to negotiate.
But what about Theo? He said the Cubs have ‘serious interest’ in Pujols?
Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t. But if Theo doesn’t get the job done and sign Pujols, then he call fall back on the “it was too expensive, I’m building for the future’ line that he’s been using since being hired as the Cubs GM. Plus, he’s driving up the final sale price for the Cardinals, handicapping them for other free agents.
If he does sign Pujols to the Cubs, well, then he’s just signed Pujols. So it’s a pretty win/win situation for the Cubs to show interest.
The point is, that until something is signed, sealed and delivered for Albert Pujols, you can pretty much take any news story you see with his name attached and know that the source probably has an agenda. It’s a fun way to think about baseball in the winter and, at times, will be quite dramatic, but it’s all part of the mega free-agent dance.
We went through this two years ago with Holliday. And now we’re doing it now in the age of Twitter and instant information and JC Corcoran… so just know that.
And enjoy the ride.
Unless he really does go to the Cubs. Then we’ll need to really evaluate many things in life. Like if we just all don’t pull a LaRussa and call it a day on baseball.
++ Image via Bleacher Nation
