Last week brother Nate Argo'd Des from the dark twisted reality of living in Texas with a preacher's son. AshLee finally broke down and talked about her feelings with Sean. And Catherine barehanded a dead fish.
Tonight virginity is lost, thrice over.
Which of the women will accept the offer of coitus at Sean's Sex Shack? Who will not be willing the kick the tires before engagement? The first one to punch Sean's V-Card has to win this sucker... RIGHT?
It's "Fantasy Suite Night" on The Bachelor.
DATE 1: LINDSAY
7:19 - "I feel like I'm with my high school sweetheart. And that's what I want in an marriage." I'm going to let that marinate for a minute. Go ahead, picture your High School prom date. Now look him or her up on Facebook. Thoughts?
7:21 - The fact that Crystal was passed over for the feeding set-up is criminal. Look, Animal Practice was bad. But, damn.
7:30 - You know where I like to get my Twitter commentary during TV shows? Twitter. I go to fucking Twitter to get Twitter. I don't need it on the TV. Cut it out ABC.
FANTASY SUITE? ACCEPTED! (1 for 1)
7:34 - Oh. My. That was a drawn out L-BOMB. It's like she hasn't told that to a boy since she was in like 6th grade. Which was about 8 years ago. But still...
DATE 2: ASHLEE
7:45 - The biggest issue with AshLee is that she needs to open up. Men really love talking about their feelings all day, every day. And AshLee - maybe I'm wrong here - is a little to guarded.
FANTASY SUITE ACCEPTED (2 for 2)
7:56 - The expectations for tonight? I think everyone knows the expectations for tonight.
Tough position for the second date, though. Have to out perform night 1, but know that night 3 is going for broke. So the right amount of tender is required.
DATE 3: CATHERINE
8:11 - Catherine is ready to accept "great love" from Sean. That's called foreshadowing, friends.
8:18 - New game for the ladies: 45 seconds to give your preamble before accepting the Fantasy Suite. Be sure to include reasons why you 'normally wouldn't do this', why 'you never expected to be in this position', how you've 'put a lot of thought into this' and how 'you just want to spend more time and get to know each other and that's all'.
FANTASY SUITE ACCEPTED (3 for 3)
8:20 - Beefy.
8:21 - Hunky.
8:22 - "Being intimate tonight is really important." FINALLY... some REAL TALK! Thank you Catherine.
8:41 - Now that's a dress. I guess AshLee paid it forward and adopted a couple of little guys herself... HIYO!
8:42 - Here's Sean staring at a turned off TV presented without comment.
8:51 - The lone F-Bomb that Ashley dropped for no reason at the rose ceremony? Awesome.
8:54 - Props to AshLee. That's a GROW ASS WOMAN taking her dumping. Give him NOTHING! I'm proud of you, Ash. Dobber up. On to the next one.
NEXT WEEK: Women Tell All.