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Cards Diaspora - A St. Louis Cardinals Blog

Written by athooks | 21 June 2011

Right after I graduated from college, I moved to Nashville TN. Pujols_Gamble

Considering I had no job, and not really a prospect for one, the only logical thing to do was rent a nice loft downtown, right? For the most part, my roommate and I managed to come up with the rent. Some months we had to resort to fairly extreme measures to do so (spaghetti 30 straight days for lunch AND dinner anyone?), but our oddball slash BS jobs covered us.

Towards the end, right after a trip back to STL for Thanksgiving, we realized that we were going to be about 500 dollars short that month and we'd pretty much tapped out every resource we had (selling clothes, opening credit cards, etc al) - so we got in a car and drove 2 hours to the nearest casino.

500 dollars. One bet. On black.

If we made it, we'd leave and pay rent. If we didn't? Well, we didn't really think like that back in the day.

I remember pulling up to the casino and not having a good feeling. It had just begun to snow and it was about 1a on a Tuesday night. I made my roommate make the actual bet while I sat at the bar and drank a glass of water. The whole deal might have taken a minute, if that, but it felt like a freaking eternity.

When the roommate walked passed, he said nothing. I followed him out the door.

"Fucking green."

Indeed, fucking green. It had cost us literally everything we had. Coupled with the snowstorm we had to drive through to get back to Nashville (5 hours of driving) and I can honestly say that was one of the lower points in my life. We figured something out and made rent. Since that day, it actually hasn't been a problem getting the bills paid. But that one spin actually taught me a very valuable lesson...

There is no such thing as just black or red. There's some green when you least expect it.

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Albert Pujols is the greatest baseball player I've ever seen. Honestly, it's not even close. For 1/3 of my life, the dude has been the alpha and omega of my spring, summer and sometimes fall. And when he showed up for spring training without the richest contract in the history of baseball, I was pissed.

I knew that this sort of 'dark cloud' was going to hang over everything the Cardinals did in 2011. Win Game 7 of the World Series with a bases loaded grand slam in the bottom of the 9th? The second question to Pujols after getting the championship would be something about being a free agent.

It was going to be the epitaph of this team, written before the season started.

But as the first two months of the season ticked past, Pujols showed for the first time a vulnerability that was disconcerting. The strike zone expanded. The double plays were maddening. The lack of slugging was unfathomable. I started to question if the Cardinals actually made a shrewed business move... hell, I thought maybe the guy was one of the rare ones that just fell off the cliff and couldn't return. (Not real seriously, but still.)

The past 3 weeks, the old Albert started to emerge. Back to back walk off HR's against the Cubs jump-started Albert's season and all of a sudden he was going to be .290-.295/21/70 at the All-Star Break and deserving of his starting nod.

Sunday, Albert Pujols suffered his first major injury of his career.

It looked bad when Pujols was rolling around on the ground and taken out of the game and MRI's on Monday confirmed that is was bad. Albert has fractured his wrist/forearm area and is now in a cast for 4 weeks before beginning a rehab assignment and trying to come back to the team in August.

While his absence in the Cardinals lineup is sure to be missed in the short term, the injury brings a whole new shade of color to the table...

Green.

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The Cardinals, like all other teams, are going to have to determine either the biggest or second biggest contract in baseball history based on a 2011 that was nothing like any other season Albert Pujols has ever had.

He had never slumped. He had never been shelved for an extended period of time.

What does this mean? Will he ever be the same? Is it wise to invest so heavily into a guy (sans the steroid era) that should be peaking or just peaked, but wants 8-10 more years of payment? Do the Cardinals owe it to him? To us?

It's easy to make the call in 2013 or 2015 - we'll have tangible answers by then. And possibly sooner. But at this very moment in time, everyone is wondering what the hell is going to happen - including Albert Pujols.

I'm here to say that I don't know.

Insightful? Not exactly. But I can say that I've been there and the one thing I know for absolute certain is that it sucks being in the position having to make that decision.

It's enough to make you green. no comments

Written by athooks | 20 June 2011

Rumor has it that Albert Pujols, with nothing better to do, has decided to get on board with The Bachelorette. AshleyEp5

Tonight: Concussions, collusion and general confusion.

7:04 - Chiang Mai Thailand is the destination for tonight's episode of The Bachelorette. Many of the men reference the 'romanticism' of the city. Ladies take note: random goat in the street = the new stringkini.

7:13 - Ben F. wins the first solo date and tells us there is a 100% chance Ashley's 'gettin' kissed' today. Annnnd right on cue, Ashley breaks out the old, we can't kiss here - we're too close to this religious temple - counter attack. Ben F counters the counter with a 'mind kiss', where these two imagine making out. Holy shit, I think my TV just grew knuckles and bit them.

7:24 - What are your plans for your next relationship, Ben F.? "concentrating on her, traveling, wine parties with friends, staying in and cooking dinner, you know, uh, focusing on her, making her special, loving her, making her feel right and good, feeling like a goofy puppy dog..." Right know there is a Kraft marketing manger -- literally -- beating down this guys door somewhere with a sponsorship deal.

7:32 - Group date! 3 hours in a Muay Thai concentration... err.... training camp. Surprising exactly no one, Ames admits that he's never been in a fight.

7:33 - Tonight's big loser? Chest hair. If Tom Selleck was still alive, he'd be throwing up right now.

7:34 - I swear I'm typing this before I see what happens. But I can promise you that letting dudes fight over a girl is the worst idea this show has had since, well, bringing a roast element into show. So not that long, actually. But still - this is a bad, bad idea.

7:42 - Ashley "I don't want anyone to get hurt". Well, then I'd say a sport that involves punching AND kicking to the face isn't the best decision.

7:47 - Ames gets carted away in an ambulance with concussion-type symptoms. No offense to the Thai, but I better be thiiiiiis close to death before I get involved in that medicare system. You know how they treat head trauma? Caning.

8:01 - Lucas, who took some sort of payment from the producers, decides to let Ashely know her type of guy... Bentley. Twist that knife, Lucas. Twist it son.

8:05 - Ben C. & William go 2 on 1 in a ELIMINATION DATE. William carries the show for the next 7 minutes with pithy commentary. And by pithy, I mean more irrational confidence since 2006 John Rodriguez. (That was a special name check for any of the 2 Cardinal fans still reading this crap.)

8:14 - Looks like William might need a refresher course on the Bro Code. Weak sauce, dude.

8:24 - Ashley will take a lot. But she won't take a RAT. William gets Ben C. canned, then decides to not come off this 30-year-old-boy routine and gets the guillotine.

8:36 - At this point, we have to stand and give The Monster a round of applause. J.P. is laying down some serious game and Ashley still can't quit yapping about Bentley. Whatever he did, whatever he said - I want some.

8:46 - "dot, dot, dot" or ellipses.

8:50 - Time to pin some roses tainted by the sweet memories of The Monster...

Going Home: William, Ben C., Nick

Next Week: Hong Kong, Hotel visit from THE MONSTER! Unlike this week, we see it's scaly skin in the flesh! no comments

Written by Fresh(WC) | 20 June 2011

fml34

Shit.
This headline says it all :

Pujols has broken bone, out 4-6 weeks

Read the full story HERE. I'll be in the bathroom, crying. no comments

Written by athooks | 20 June 2011

What's the lede on this post? Wrist

That Albert Pujols may never again play a game in a Cardinals uniform? Too dramatic - we've seen Albert bounce back from apparently seemingly serious injury with almost uncanny consistency.

That the Cardinals medical staff is convinced that this is just a strain; a diagnosis that lifts the spirits of everyone pulling for the Cards? Too corporate. The Cardinals have lied to the consumers before on players health, so we have to take their evaluations - or at least what they tell the press - with a grain of salt.

That Scott Rolen never got back to Scott Rolen after colliding with Hee-Seop Choi at first base in 2005 or, more presciently, Mark DeRosa never got back to being Mark DeRosa after a wrist injury in 2010? Too disparate - It's easy to draw these correlations, but each injury has to live on it's own.

No, the lede is still yet to be written on this story.

Does he go on the DL? Do the MRI's reveal more or less damage than the original diagnosis? How does the wrist actually feel when swinging a bat?

I'm not going to sugar coat this Cardinals fans... the wrist is about the WORST place for a player to get injured. So much of being a great big league hitter is determined in wrist strength and agility in the hitting zone. Even a 80% wrist is going to be a drastic departure for Albert Pujols. He's never endured any serious drama in this area and it's hard to tell how he'll react.

The stakes are high this season for Albert, The Cardinals and every single fan. Let's wait another 24 hours before Vancouver-ing this site. no comments

Written by Trumbsy | 18 June 2011

partydogHey, guys!  Remember when the Cardinals used to win baseball games? Holy crap, that was FUN!  It feels like it happened so long ago.  Maybe I'm just getting old, but I remember back in the good old days, (like, two weeks ago,) when this team didn't SUCK THE SOUL FROM MY FACE.  I felt so inundated with good fortune that even Cubs traffic couldn't keep me down. 

(SO LONG AGO!!!!)

The Cardinals used to win games, right?  I didn't hallucinate this?  It's like I have long term memory loss.  Or brain damage.  Or Alzheimer's.  I don't know what it is and I don't care.  The fact of the matter is, we are in SERIOUS TROUBLE HERE, GUYS!!!
 
Can they just please stop doing this?  It's embarrassing.  And frankly, it's times like this that I wish I did hard drugs.  I bet you can't find a crackhead in town that feels more desperate than I do.  (Probably a slight exaggeration, but I think you get my point.  Just say no, kids!!!)

This is the WORST.  Can't we just go back to carving one out every once in awhile?  I don't think it's asking THAT MUCH. 

Ahem.  So, ANYWAY, here is a cute dog in a hat.  Because what the hell else are we supposed to be happy about? COOL PARTY!!!
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Written by HMW | 17 June 2011

heckofayearThe one thing I've failed to do in my blogging career (besides "be good at it") is that I don't discuss my fondness for Heck of a Year often enough.

Now if you have to ask what that is, you've got a big homework assignment this weekend, big boy. Heck of a Year is a video recap of one of the best seasons of Cardinal baseball of all time: 1985. It tells a story of triumph and tribulation. It makes you laugh. It makes you cry. It makes you want to replace your living room carpet with astroturf. It makes you want to call Great Clips to see if anyone there still knows how to give you "the Herzog." And it especially makes you want to snort piles and piles of coke.

Heck of a Year has everything you could want out of an 80's baseball VHS: Buck, Shannon, and Ken Wilson play-by-play highlights; songs like "The Heat is On" and "I Need a Hero" play a key role throughout the video; a young Mike Claiborne; a less-old Rick Hummel; expert analysis from a lady with poofy hair and shoulder pads; and of course, Dan Thompson, Cardinals Fan. That said, if you get this video and watch it a hundred times over the next hundred hours, you'll still be slacking way behind me.

But little did I know - the Royals have their own version. I came across it on YouTube earlier this week, stopped everything I was doing, and realized how lucky we are to have The Godfather of season recap videos. Heck of a Year kicks so much ass, in general, but it's a cinematic masterpiece compared to the suckfest called The Thrill of it All.

thrillofitall
Imagine a second movie debuting in 1994 about the life of Forrest Gump - let's call it 'The Thrill of Alabama.' And imagine it starring Jim Varney, the Wayans Brothers, Kathy Griffin...and then Rob Schneider as Lt. Dan. This is exactly what "The Thrill of it All" is like.

So after discovering this video, I immediately knew I had to consult with Josh from JoeSportsFan to see if he knew of its existence. I'm sure we both assumed it existed, but why would anyone want the torture of trying to track down a shitty Royals highlight reel of a World Series they didn't deserve? If there's anyone who appreciates Heck of a Year as much as I do, it's Josh. It would be a blogger code violation to proceed without including him in this post, so here's some analysis from Mr. Bacott:

It doesn't take long to appreciate a cheesy 80's highlight tape. Nothing beats the first musical interlude on the Royals' shaky start to the season - clips of Bud Black wild pitches, Willie Wilson getting hosed at home and Steve Balboni and Steve Balboni's mustache striking out all set to a Bruce Springsteen jam. Pure emotion.

Two things I want to point out: 1) The George Brett montage at the six minute mark to the tune of "You're The Best Around"? Absolutely fucking brilliant. I applauded that one. But 2) I had a teeny tiny problem with the description of the 9th inning of Game 6. Let's check the transcript:

"Jorge Orta led the inning off with this roller. Worrell covers. And Orta's safe at first. On that play the momentum shifts..."

You IGNORED the fact that Denkinger blew the call? Was Fox Sports Midwest working on the other side of the state in '85? No mention? Really guys?

I know you all are used to being unfulfilled by us, but we actually came through and have the video for you below. Take out 20 minutes of your time to appreciate we're not in the 80's anymore, and enjoy this Cards Diaspora YouTube exclusive:


no comments

Written by Fresh(WC) | 16 June 2011

So Hooks has a birthday hangover and the rest of us are just plain drunk. 

In lieu of anything even mascarading as noteworthy content,
I present what is probably the best picture currently on the Internets. 

Oh Canada, indeed. 


ukSF1 no comments

Written by Fresh(WC) | 15 June 2011

baseball no comments

Written by HMW | 15 June 2011

stanmusialNormally I like being a foul-mouthed jerkface blogger, but not today, kids. Let's learn a little Stan Musial history, courtesy of Charlie Rose's show the other night.

The title of this post was almost "old dudes talk about Stan the Man," but really - old dudes are the only ones who should be talking about Stan the Man. Think about it, in 60 years, would you listen to a 20 or 30 year old blab about Albert Pujols? No, you'd trans-phazer his ass back to the digitation unit in his iHouse. Guys like Bob Costas, Tim McCarver and George Vecsey are the old dudes that need to talk about Stan Musial.

I know I've bashed Costas before about his seriuz jernalizm, but if I'm picking one living person I'd want to talk baseball with, it's probably him (off the top of my head - maybe I throw Costas, Posnanski, Hummel, Lasorda and Sofia Vergara's name in a hat and I'd be cool with any of them). I know for sure Bob and I wouldn't agree on everything, but the guy knows his shit. And when he sits down like this to talk about Stan Musial, it's a must-listen.

I'd love to embed this video, but it's PBS...come on. It's a really good 20 minute segment though, so check it out. Costas actually looks like he's having fun, and not trying to win Emmy's. McCarver is surprisingly insightful and not spewing out mindless garbage like he does every Saturday afternoon. And I've only heard of Vecsey, don't know much about him - he may be a crotchety old bastard for all I know, but he provides some good insight as well.

Back to being foul-mouthed jerks tomorrow. Enjoy:

LINK HERE no comments

Written by athooks | 15 June 2011

Yeesh.

Yakking up a 6-1 lead to a bad baseball team? Might as well scream 'No Whammies!' when slamming on the panic button. (Rest in peace Peter Tomarken) But the Cardinals skidded to their 4th straight loss Tuesday night by unleashing something called a Miguel Batista on the Washington D.C. public and it promptly coughed up 5 earned runs and another L.

CardsFail
Batista - mind you I have witnesses to what I'm about to claim - has the flattest major league pitch I've seen since Andy Benes (pre-whatever the hell he was taking the last half of 2002). I mean you literally can't get a Jugs Machine to pitch that straight of a pitch.

So when he's able to keep his fastball in the lower quarter of the strike zone, he can be surprisingly effective. But if that dude gets lose higher than 36" off the ground? It's almost un-missable. The exception being the hitter that literally can't believe that the ball will not move one iota in any direction before reaching home plate.

It's the complete antithesis of the knuckle ball, if you will.

Many people are calling for Batista's dismissal from the Cardinals after this latest bloodletting, but, surprisingly, Batista is still almost 3/4 a run lower on his ERA than his career average. So it's not like the Cardinals aren't getting what they expected out of the journeyman... in fact, you can make an argument that he's better than advertised.

Worse for the Cardinals is the lack of control that Trever Miller seems to posses. His WHIP is now an abysmal 1.62 and he can't seem to figure out how to locate at all. Miller has been a real unsung hero for the Cardinals the past couple of seasons, always seemingly getting the big LH out whenever TLR needed it.

But in 2011, Miller looks washed-up. And his pitching isn't good either HIYO!

Seriously, though- the left handed specialist isn't something that good teams can take for granted in the NL. So Miller better get to the root of his control problems or the Cardinals better be shopping for a bargain basement re-tread that Duncan can have a few months with before the home stretch of games.

To reiterate: BAD loss.  no comments