Cardinals Diaspora - A St. Louis Cardinals blog
Fair warning to those who subscribe to ESPN Magazine - be prepared to see this in your mailbox soon:
You could use new paper for the bottom of your birdcage, or a little extra material to toss in the fireplace, right? Thanks a lot ESPN. Really. For the first time, I wish you would have stuck to football.To make it up to you, I was going to post some really hot pictures of Kate Upton, but I found something much better.
This guy:
David Freese has the town abuzz, according to Alive Magazine. We haven't heard anything, but they're always a couple days ahead of the trends, so we'll take their word on it this time.Wasn't Hooks talking about Freese's lack of style a couple weeks ago? Something about always wearing Nike shirts and hats? After sticking to that plan at the Winter Warm-Up, Freese stepped it up a bit for this photo shoot, which should cause vest and henley shirt sales to skyrocket this weekend. Watch out Old Navy, I'm gonna need a cart!
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The big moment has arrived. Did CardsDiaspora.com win for 'Best Sports Website' in the annual RFT 'Best Of' competition? Let's go to the announcement:
Shit.
I mean, it's not like the judges saw 3 homepage posts about The Bachelor when filled out their ballots, right? Oh they did? Double shit.
I love this video for a couple of reasons. Viva el Birdos didn't bother to show up. I believe the only winner not to attend. Also, the dismissive nature of the host once he realizes that VEB does NOT do award shows (VoRP takes zero nights off)... he thinks about reading the judges final assessment, but decides that this is sports and moves on very quickly.
The night was a big time. Always very interesting to meet some of the people behind the sites we read. (Turns out The Weatherbird from the Post-Dispatch is awesome!) And free booze never hurts.
Thanks to The Riverfront Times for the nomination.
Oh, and since @MattSebek won for best Twitter feed, we thought it'd be a good idea to Kanye his acceptance speech. It was not a hit and I'm fine with that. But the guy that yelled "too soon" is still bugging me. Really? Too soon?
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It's week 4 of The Bachelor: Winemaker.
Last week Shawntel was aborted after trying a sneak attack date in San Francisco. This week the grape god takes the 13 remaining bachelorettes to Park City Utah. Because lilly white people love Park City Utah.
7:04 - Fresh WC and I sat through 7 hours of Bachelor taping. If you think Chris Harrison is shooting these 3 minute monologues in multiple takes, think again. He's the Peter North of reality dating shows. The first shot is the money shot. Do not Google this at work.
7:11 - If you're old enough to want to get married, you're old enough to take out the nose ring. What's the point after high school? Employers don't take you seriously. Men think you're a slut. And your parents are embarrassed. Take it out.
7:15 - Nosering is straining for conversation and The Winemaker seems perplexed. What's holding her back? Ben, it's a little thing called acumen. Grey matter isn't distributed equally amongst humans.
7:31 - Bachelor Pro Tip: When you announce your plans to go horse riding, look for the overly enthusiastic reaction. That girl probably has daddy issues.
7:37 - Props when props are due... The Model catching a fish with a fly reel is genuinely impressive. Unless it was rigged by the producers. I don't put anything past those devil people. They probably shocked the water and zapped that poor fish into cardiac arrest. Forget I said anything. They definitely electrocuted that fish.
7:47 - "I don't see this going much further." NEVER. EVER. Put baby in a corner. You got multiple group dates and you have the stones to complain? TO HELL!
7:49 - Also, mush like nose jewelry, electric pink suitcases aren't a buying sign for marriage.
8:00 - The Model is Evaristo Felice Dall'Abaco. Ben is a Stradivarius.
8:22 - Point of clarification: Clay Walker is not a superstar. Lady Gaga? Superstar. Prince? Superstar. Clay Walker is playing a faux-concert for a Bachelor date. Not that he's a bad act. Quite the opposite, but let's pump the brakes on the superlatives. Also, if he's married to a supermodel, he's getting dumped soon. Right Seal?
8:34 - Ladies, this is your great hope here. She beat the odds of her childhood and become successful. She's set and reached several goals in life and over-achieved. She's a EFFING doctor. And she can't help herself from shit talking other women. If she can't rope in the crazy, is there hope for anyone else?
8:44 - "I know myself really well". Amen.
8:45 - The doctor got PWND. If you're going to play the shit talking game, you better be ready to PLAY THE SHIT TALKING GAME. You can't half-ass is, Doc. Also, you got a 'Winning' dropped on you. At the time of taping, this probably was a lot more impactful than it is now.
8:57 - Only one jogged off tonight. Hopefully Monica's future wife is thankful for this dumping.
8:58 - "I was just there." Of course she was. Of course she was.
Next Week:
You better check yourself bitch. Beacuse The Model is taking off her clothes.
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Monday, March 5th is the first Cardinals pre-season game...
Billy Cundiff is a goat. Kyle Williams is infamous. And there is a big difference. Missing a short field goal late in a game happens. It stings for Ravens fans. But Kyle Williams will forever be the subject of every bar slash buddy slash workplace 49er conversation for as long time goes on. It'll get better if the Niners win a championship in the next couple of years. But Kyle Williams' name will be fashioned in a variety of uses. Scorn, agitation, deification (for Giant fans, at least), etc. al. I don't think he planned on being infamous when he woke up. Now he's in the Montana/Rice/Lott pantheon. Only exactly opposite...
I've seen many Tweets and FB posts saying people aren't interested in seeing a NY v BOS Super Bowl. It's the NFL. It's the Super Bowl. You're going to be interested, friends. And the ratings will prove me right...
Cardinal writer and friend of the site Christine Coleman came strong with a piece about Yadier Molina and his second straight year of jogging off the Winter Warm Up. Read the GMs comments. It's looking like we're headed for Pujols Negotiations Rd II. It's eerie how similar things are starting to play out. Sounds like the Cardinals are willing to let him get to free agent status before making an offer...
The cheapest roundtrip ticket from STL to London the weekend that the Rams play the Patriots in Wembley Stadium? $1,060. Yup. Good for St. Louis, right Rams?...
The journalistic ethics in sports have been more blurred than ever since the advent of blogs and Twitter and the networks practice of hiring former jocks in various roles. But I'm a little confused on how Teddy Bruschi can sit next to New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, embrace him when the Pats clinch the AFC Championship and then go on to work as the guy who's giving me analysis about the upcoming Super Bowl for ESPN. I get he played for the Pats and has relationships with the team. I also get that everyone has a little bias. Damn this is out in the open now, right?...
Maybe I thought Moneyball was going to be an awful movie. It sounds like one on paper. But it was a damn good movie. Maybe Billy Beane is a cool MFer in real life, but this flick didn't do anything but push his stock way higher in life. I'd now feel comfortable having Brad Bit depict me in my life's big screen opus...
If you're interested in the Murray State All Access feature on ESPN's College Game Day from this past weekend, you can watch it: LINK HERE...
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After a long hiatus, the Friday Links are back.
And since we don't have anything better to write about in the middle of January, how about some extended commentary on these finds?
Trolling on Facebook the other day, I came across Justin Boyd (from InsideSTL.com fame) and his link to inappropriate woo'ing from Saved By The Bell. The genius, and I don't use that word lightly, that put this together deserves an award. It's one of the few memes that actually builds to a crescendo. In fact, I'm pretty sure that last clip isn't from SBTB at all, but rather a bizzaro world where SBTB and Full House mated... albeit forceably. LINK HERE
The 'Shit Girls Say' meme has caught fire the past couple of weeks. If you haven't seen the original (LINK HERE) it's pretty funny. But it's spawned literally thousands of other 'Shit (XXX) Say' videos to pop up all over the place. Friend of the site Bill Ivie (i70 Baseball) brought it full circle with 'Shit Baseball Players Say'. LINK HERE
Rebecca Black is one thing. Terrible song, terrible video, but pretty much exactly whats going through the head of any given 14 year old girl. This girl on the other hand is 8. I'm not sure when I was exposed to speed metal, but it was probably not 8. And if it was, I don't think I liked it. Now this girl is getting famous overnight for making a metal video about her fish tank and whatnot. We've got to start making people take a test to have kids. LINK HERE
Why not. LINK HERE
I love how Alec Trebeck can barely hold back the laughter after this contestant makes his question. He's probably much cooler than we give him credit for. Also, nice work contestant. LINK HERE
Maybe it's just me. But I bet there is some seriously freaky shit in the ocean that we haven't even discovered yet. How awful would be be to be stranded in a dinghy out on the ocean at night and have no idea what was going to come from underneath and eat you. Here's 12 things that will terrify you from the ocean. LINK HERE
No context. No description on the video. No decipherable purpose. Just a chick twirling a samurai while an elderly lady and dog watch and Swedish House Mafia plays on a boom box until a bro shows up and some synchronized dancing starts. LINK HERE
You know where daddy is, lady. You know exactly where he is. LINK HERE
We'd like to wish a very special Happy Birthday to loyal CD reader Paul from Edwardsville, AKA Fresh Sr.
You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
That's it. That's the week. It's been a productive one. And how about those St. Louis Blues people. They're OK.
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Could 2012 be a historic year for your buddies at Cards Diaspora, well before the Cardinals even hit the field for Spring Training?
I think most of our readers have heard of the Riverfront Times, and have probably seen their many "Best of STL" editions. One of their more recent features is the RFT Web Awards, which are a great way to learn about St. Louis blogs, people, products and places that you might miss on your daily routine around the internet. And while we appreciate our readers keeping us abreast (wink) of the best porn clips in the universe, local non-porn blogs need your support too.
We're all sports junkies here, so the "Best Sports Blog" nominees are intriguing because there might be a new site out there to check out, or if it's a friend-of-the-site, we can deliver a cyber pat on the back to congratulate them on the job well done. So to our surprise, yesterday we scrolled down and saw this:
Three legit powerhouse local blogs...and us. Somebody made a terrible, terrible mistake and they don't feel like breaking the bad news about accidentally including the CD.
If you're asking, "Did Hooks take all the ad revenue from those Tampax ads on the sidebar, and bribe the RFT judges?", well the answer is yes. Seriously, every other time I look, there's a Tampax ad over there to the right. We are ganksta ballin' with this Tampax money rolling in. Sure, I'll stop...
I think it goes without saying, but we're completely flattered to be included in that group. There are a LOT of outstanding local blogs that should have been mentioned before us (St. Louis Game Time and Turf Show Times immediately come to mind. The various sections of InsideSTL are pretty good. SB Nation St. Louis is another. And there are countless Cardinal blogs that I could mention; we really get smoked in those Best Cardinal Blog awards.) If you're a fan of reading anything sports-related on the internet, you should spend a little bit every day reading these sites. We honestly have it good when it comes to fans writing about St. Louis teams. And no matter the sport, the trail of credit always leads to Jack Buck. I say that with all sincerity.
The good news for you is that it's not a popularity contest or anything, so we don't have to beg for votes or even "kindly suggest" you click somewhere, create an account, register for a newsletter and maybe cast a ballot if you still have a functional computer after punching a hole through the 13th pop-up ad. But if you want to give bacon or sex to any of the judges, feel free.
The groundwork for Cards Diaspora was set by RVB, and we've done our best to continue his efforts. Many thanks (and apologies) go to him.
Hooks may not have said this about himself, but he truly works his ass off, making sure we have something posted every day. Usually a plan like that is a recipe for crap overload, but it's always a quality three to five minute read. Always. Thanks to Hooks for his leadership, and of course his fearless singing ability.
It's a pretty cool honor to be mentioned in this category, so thanks to the RFT. We don't mind a well-deserved distant fourth in that group.
And most importantly: Tampax. We couldn't have done it without you, Tampax.
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We were able to scrounge together 40 bucks and make it down to the Winter Warm-Up for a few hours on Saturday. There are many Cardinal blogs out there who produced stellar recaps, showing us up for the zillionth time:
-Our pal Erika at Cardinal Diamond Diaries was all over the place and posted tons of pics and video throughout the weekend.
-Our pals at I70 Baseball had the event covered top to bottom as well.
-And our pals at JoeSportsFan have posted a couple pieces so far, and I'm sure they'll kill it with a fan-hunting gallery that will surely make you happy that you weren't seen with those people.
Everyone else is NOT our pal. Okay, we just haven't gotten around to reading them yet.
And hey, how the hell did other sites get media access? Besides the fact that we're lazy and we sleep 'til noon on the weekends.
So what do we have to contribute? Let's just say when we saw a dealer selling home, road AND alternate Pujols Angels jerseys, we knew how to handle the situation:
(Photo via @B97Matt)
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It's week 3 of The Bachelor: Winemaker.
Last week our protagonist strayed far, far from his comfort zone and took the harem to... Sonoma. This week he's getting real crazy and going to... his hometown of San Francisco. Here's hoping for a Merton Hanks cameo.
Let's Date...
7:03 - No. Actually your sister would hate The Model. With every fiber of her being.
7:05 - "This will be a very funny story to tell later on in life." And with that, The Winemaker's sister has written the epitaph for every Bachelor season in the history of The Bachelor. Well played.
7:14 - Learn from Doc's mistakes. Never, ever list your real fears to The Bachelor Producers. They'll use that shit against you in ways that you don't want to know. I proabably would have left the show if you asked me to climb a bridge.
7:22 - Online Dating Fail = signing up and getting sent your brother as your match. Ouch.
7:35 - Leap List. Is this a real thing? Oh, what's that you say? It's a clever marketing stunt by Honda? Of course it is. When you're a cynical asshole and word comes up four times without prompting, your radar goes up. Those Hondas the girls drove to the slopes weren't an accident. Because Honda bought a Super Bowl spot for their new campaign... called Leap List.
7:47 - A girl left. I'm not 100% convinced she was actually on the show. But she left.
8:00 - Hey big, big news Matt, we've got you a gig booked on national TV!!! No, no - it's not Letterman. You'll actually be on The Bachelor. And we're going to need to you play in a vacant city hall. For two terribly coordinated white people dancing in the atrium. With flashlights. (Also, second week in a row at City Hall. I smell a fetish.)
8:16 - THE FIRST L BOMB of 2012! We're barely half way into Episode 3 and we've got an L BOMB. A new record!
8:18 - Shawntel. Is. Back. The mystery player has been revealed and it's America's favorite funeral director. The Womack buried their relationship on The Bachelor circa 2011, but love doesn't die easy. It's been resurrected. Sorry.
8:21 - JFK had a secret room he took Marylin Monroe? Pimp.
8:32 - "Dumpster Trash". "Brad's Leftovers". "Thick Thighs". The Winemaker was right, the other girls are being really welcoming.
8:44 - The Model has her bluff called. A security intervention will probably be needed to get her off the set. She's like a Transformer for sterotypes. When the all come together they assemble something more than, ahem, meets the eye.
8:50 - Orange Juice? Orange Juice! Exactly what's needed when you're passing out. And make sure it doesn't have any fucking pulp!
8:53 - Ben has decided not to administer a final rose tonight. Vanquishing Shawntel, the fainter and tears for fears in one fell swoop. That's ripe move there, Winemaker. One only a well aged man might make.
Next Week:
What are you laughing at? YOU.
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“All I'm saying is simply this, that all life is interrelated, that somehow we're caught in an inescapable network of mutuality tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. For some strange reason, I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.”
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was one of America's finest citizens. He spent his life fighting for those who's voices had never been heard. Dr. King dreamed of an America where all people were given access to the freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution. King refused to stand down to oppression. His life is a constant reminder that America is a place where good men can fight injustice and dedicate their lives to others.
Please use your day off to consider his example and reflect on your own contribution to the world.
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