Another weekend of baseball for St. Louis. Which equals another losing weekend for St. Louis. How bad is it? The past 6 weekends have produced a 3-15 record (courtesy of Joe Strauss), including dropping 2 out of 3 at Busch Stadium to the very mediocre Cleveland Indians.
After the sticks went silent on Friday, it was the bullpens chance to show they could contribute to the month long meltdown when “closer” Jason Motte entered a tied game in the top of the ninth, put 2 runners on and served a Andy Benes-esque meatball down the pipe to Jason Kipnis who promptly took the ball deep and the score out of hand for the feckless Cardinals.
Again, I say woof.
Meanwhile, the Reds were losing at home to Detroit allowing the Pittsburg Pirates to claim first place in the Comedy Central. That’s right, the Pirates are in first place… now becoming an annual tradition before they fall off to a sub .500 team.
The Cardinals are the most fortunate team in Major League Baseball. Maybe in professional sports.
The Comedy Central is bad in 2012. And it’s been pretty bad for the better part of 10 years. Houston and Pittsburgh are perennial doormats. The Cubs? They’re on pace as of today to finish with the worst record in Cubs history. And the Reds and Brewers are in the same mid-market, we’ll take our chances with what we’ve got and hope for the best mind-set that the Cardinals have.
Only 3 teams can legitimately win the NL Central in 2012. And if the Brewers can’t manage to dig themselves out of a deep funk, then it’s down to the Cardinals and the Reds. Who by maintaining a slightly over .500 record will have around a 50/50 shot of making the playoffs.
We’ve seen what happens if you can just get to the show.
I’m not complaining. I love watching my team in the post-season. But it’s starting to feel like we’re rooting for the backdoor, no? Excusing all sorts of crap play and losing moves because we know that it’s not really going to matter in the end. Get to 85 wins and you’re probably going to get in the playoffs. We’re not demanding excellence, we’re just making sure the Cardinals don’t fall off the map. It's hard to get outraged at a losing every other game when that's actually good enough to get to what we want in the end.
I guess this is just taking advantage of a circumstance. We can’t change the fact the Cardinals reside in the worst division in baseball. But as the seasons tick by and the Cardinals refuse to do more than just what is needed to get in the playoffs, it’s hard to deny other teams cries of the Cardinals being lucky.
Because they’re doing nothing to disprove exactly that.
So there I was scouring the internets for more questionable St. Louis Cardinals draft picks when I came across a blurb on Yankee’s pick Garrett Cannizaro and couldn’t help but wonder if this is the most Yankee looking player to ever get drafted in the history of their franchise? He appears to be the embodiment of the pinstripes. Here’s to really sports hating this kid in 7 years.
The MLB has gone 30+ rounds now and the Cardinals are making picks. Some will make it to the MLB at some distant point in the future. Others, this week will be the pinnacle of their professional baseball career. But as far as I can gather, the Cardinals took all their long-shot chances really early in the draft. So here’s to apple bags.
In lieu of writing anymore, enjoy this lip dub of ‘Call Me Maybe’ by the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders. If the Rams get off to a 0-4 start then I think I’ve found my new team. LINK HERE
Now, the Friday Links…
- Somebody's dad gets in a good one. LINK HERE
- Uh oh. LINK HERE
- Hopefully he got an A. LINK HERE
- Wasn't even that drunk. LINK HERE
- I laughed. LINK HERE
- Very, very true. LINK HERE
Earlier in the week we told you about the Cardinals decision to draft Tim Tebow Jr. on the first day. In short: average arm, average speed, average bat, selected in premium position… BUT JESUS!
The MLB draft is a long, torturous process, though. Days of drafting, not only the future MLB stars, but players that will fill rosters of hundreds of teams across the country from Low A to AAA. 12 rounds passed before the Cardinals took one Jose Alberto Pujols.
The past several years the Cardinals have focused on building up the minor league system. And by in large, they’ve taken it from the dredges back to at least respecticibity through the focus of Jeff Luhnow. Problem is, Houston noticed what the Cardinals were up to and hired him as their big league GM. So 2012 is the first draft since the mid 2000s that wasn’t helmed by Lunhow.
Predictably, some red flags have emerged.
Like Mr. Chris Perry.
"I didn't think it was going to happen it all. I thought might come back next year and improve my status," said Perry. "But going in the top 20 rounds kind of made the decision for me."
So Chris Perry didn’t think he was good enough to be drafted, but the Cardinals took him in round 17? Hmmm.
Ok, ok. Again, it’s baseball. Unlike the NFL where you have to hit on every single premium pick and be at least drafting solid starters in the first 4 rounds or it’s death… baseball is more bingo. Put some names in a hopper and you’re going to hit now and again, you just want to stack the odds in your favor as much as possible.
But when Albert Pujols was drafted in the teen rounds, he was pissed. Real pissed. Hell, he’s still pissed. But that’s the kind of attitude you need to fuel a rise to stardom, or at least to get to the Major Leagues. Go ahead and take a mic into the Cardinals clubhouse right now and ask all 25 guys if they got drafted too high.
0% will say no.
It’s going to be years before we can say with any definitive answers if this was a good or bad draft in 2012. Even then, the results may be murky at best. But the red flags are starting to fly high…
It's Week 4.
Last week Emily callously destroyed a hybrid bachelor contestant slash ostrich egg, got told her child was a compromise and revealed she was friends with Kelly Kapoor.
This week we've got a special treat for you. We went ahead and watched Episode 4 with Mr. John Wolfner, who OBITHEWAY, happens to be going on a little 2 on 1 date this week. The reason this post is a bit delayed? I wanted to re-edit it and take out all the spoilers, but leave in the stuff that you wouldn't know unless you were on the show. You'll see those comments from John in the parenthesises. And thanks to Otto's for the hospitality. They're peaches.
7:02 - Unfortunately for the guys, they're not going to have another 10 weeks in Charlotte. Tough luck, right? But they're headed to Bermuda, so I think they'll make it. (Turns out the producers let them know this the night before and that reaction shot you just saw was acting.)
7:04 - Scooter gang. Haven't seen one this tough since Wilmer Valderrama and Tom Hanks un-ironically rode hard in Hollywood.
7:14 - What son wouldn't want a postcard from their dad hanging out in Bermuda with a girl that 12 other guys are trying very hard to rail? Every son.
7:21 - Doug's other faults: donating too much to charity, loving reading, refusal to let jaywalkers go without a stern talking to, and one time he thinks he might of accidentally gone to LemonParty.org by clicking on a banner ad for a Depends coupon his grandpa might appreciate. Note: Do NOT go to LemonParty.org. Seriously. (Doug's real biggest flaw? He was up and down the whole time. Including a couple of times yelling at producers about filming his meltdowns...)
7:32 - Hollywolf and Nate are summoned for the 2 on 1 date. A bit surreal watching a guy watch himself get watched by 3 million people about to go on a date where he one wrong move could lead to massive fucking embarrassment. (John embraced the 2 on 1, figuring that he could either make a name for himself or get eliminated before he was attached.)
7:43 - Ryan calls Emily his "trophy wife". (After hearing John repeatedly hammer on Ryan, I think he was by far the most hated guy in the house, at least amongst the other guys. The producers tried to push Kalon as the 'bad' guy, but Ryan was a chode all on his own.)
7:49 - "I'm not here to impress you, but make an impression on you."
7:50 - "God designed you to be a beautiful woman, so be a beautiful woman."
7:51 - "To who much is given, much is required."
7:52 - "I was praying for you, for you to use the opportunity to impact a ton of people." - I think John might be telling the truth on Ryan.
7:59 - (Wolf reveals the following about his 2 on 1 date: The food they served really wasn't meant to eat and they were fed during the break. The producers asked him to go down to the water and kick it around for a cinematic shot, but it got cut. The cave was even cooler in person than what it looked like on TV.)
8:11 - Here's the face of a man crying. He's probably thinking about what The Wolf is going to do on his one on one time. About how he didn't really have a chance going man to man with a closer. About how he's going to spin this date back home.
8:14 - (John says that there was a kiss on this date and it was not shown.)
8:21 - They're calling Alejandro a 'Mushroom Farmer'. He also created a sustainable product that you can buy in Whole Foods and that makes him a significant amount of money.
8:27 - The 'local media' would be interested in The Bachelor: Augusta. Starring Ryan. Only one problem though... no women.
8:37 - If it looks like Doug doesn't know what the hell Chris is talking about, it's because Doug doesn't know what the hell Chris is talking about. This is what it sounds like when guys get drunk.
8:47 - I've seen less filler in a Aldi bratwurst. Enough interviewing. This isn't Charlie Rose... let's move this along.
(Pic of the party. The Wolf is in the red circle. Such photography)
Cut: Charlie, Michael Who May Have Just Joined The Show Last Week Not Sure Though
Next Week: London calling; baggage handling.
The first few rounds of the MLB Draft were held last night in tropical Secaucus NJ and the Cardinals had 5 choices on the first night. Premium choices equal premium talent baby... so who are these future Red Bird STAHHHSS?
First Round Pick James Ramsey. Sounds like a solid name. What say you scouts?
"Ramsey, the Atlantic Coast Conference player of the year, doesn’t appear to possess any off-the-charts skills at 6 feet and 180 pounds. He is considered to have above-average speed but with an average arm and average power..."
Hmmm. This is still the first round right? What am I missing?
"Scouts have called Ramsey the Tim Tebow of Florida State baseball for his leadership and strong Christian faith. Ramsey wore the captain’s "C" on his Seminoles jersey, the first player longtime Florida State coach Mark Martin had designated for that honor in his coaching career."
TIM TEBOW JR?
"I’ve always been a fan of Tim’s, just being a man of God, first of all," Ramsey said. "You wouldn’t describe my college experience as very conventional. And that’s the way Tim lived his life. There were always people who said he couldn’t play quarterback. He couldn’t be All-(Southeastern Conference). He couldn’t win a national championship. He couldn’t lead a lot of people to Christ."
Listen, the MLB Draft is the biggest craps shoot ever. Gobs of #1 overall picks have failed to live up to expectations. Most of these guys drafted, even high, will not become impact major league players.
But still... TIM TEBOW JR?
You can read the whole P-D story from Rick Hummel: LINK HERE
Ok, maybe you're still focusing on the whole religion thing. But is anyone else alarmed by the scouting report? Average this, average that... but he was a SUPER nice guy. Even got a fancy 'C' on the jersey and everything.
And what excatly is the equivilant of Tim Tebow in baseball? A .200 OBP with a HR everytime he bats in the 8th or 9th innings?
Sometimes people ask why the hell we do a baseball site. Today, we have one of many anwsers. The Cardinals decided that their best bet for the long-term future of the team was to go all-in on TIM TEBOW JR.
And just like that, we have years (literally years) of fodder.
When you're 4'10", and you get approached by a monster of a man, such as @athooks, you do what you're asked. And in this case, plug Cards Diaspora.
Shawn Johnson announced her retirement yesterday, so we wanted to take a look back to the time we saw her on the street and asked her to give us a plug. I think at the time I actually had the idea to make a commerical with all of these cuts of famous people we were getting. Alas, that never happned. But we've still got the video.
Oh, and just so you, we ran into Kerri Strug a few weeks ago too.
There might be better Cardinal blogs out there. But we've got the market cornered on women's gymnastics. Somehow.
The Cardinals are absolutely brutal right now. Pitching? Awful. Defense? Rams-ish. Offense? Adron Chambers leads the team in RBIs for June. With one.
Injuries have ravaged the Cardinals. Matt Holliday, David Freese, Yadier Molina and Carlos Beltran have all had extended time on the DL along with Adam Wainwright and Kyle Lohse on the pitching side.
What was that? 6 players will All-Star potential haven't gone on the DL? You don't say...
No, I'm pretty sure that pretty much every team in the NL would love to have any of those guys in the middle of their lineup. Meanwhile, the Cardinals have all of them and continue to suck at the teat of mediocrity for the 7th straight week. Jon Jay and Skip Shumaker are nice role players. Guys that can make an impact when they're going. But they're not the guys the Cardinals counted on to carry the team in March heading into the season, so it's weak sauce to use them as the scapegoats when the team in flailing in June.
Lance Berkman was a big loss. And so was Allen Craig. The the latter is coming back soon, leaving Berkamn and Carpenter as the only 'big ticket' players the Cardinals have on the DL. And by 'big ticket' I mean guys that are going to have a VORP of 2+. Further, Chris Carpenter wasn't helping the team when they were rolling at the beginning of the year. So we can't really act as if his absense now is some sort of a burden that carries extra weight now that the tables have turned.
Name me 3 Pirates. Go ahead, type them down below in the comments. Without using Google.
You couldn't do it. And neither could I. Because the Pirates have neither the names nor the talent that the Cardinals are running out on the field every night. Still, the Pirates are ahead of the Cardinals in the standings.
The injury factor is a narrative that the Cardinals are more than happy to let permeate 2012. After all, it's not OUR fault we can't win anymore. And the more you buy into the story line, the less responsible everyone is for the season that is quickly coming unhinged.
Here's an idea, though. Let us put some onus on the players that are healthy here. Because if this is what we can expect for the balance of year from our middle line-up and front-line pitching, then there are much bigger issues in play than hamstrings and shoulder blades.
In this infogragh via Mashable yesterday, It looks like the Cardinals have a respectable number of people Instagram'ing.
Still, considering that the Marlins draw about 1/3 of the Cardinals during home games... this should be higher. Come on STL - get those smart phones out instead of doing 'The Wave'.
Shane Robinson is a nice story. He's worked hard and deserved a shot in the bigs. But he's 5 for his last 44 and fading fast. Skip Shumaker looks to be sidelined for a while and Jon Jay is another Cardinal medical staff wonder (I swear guys... just a few more days. Promise!)
Long story short? Cardinals are sucking wind in CF.
So it's time to bust out the 'Minor League Guy'! That's right people, it's time to call up one Oscar Taveras. In in interest of time, here's what USA Today recently wrote on one of the top prospects in the minor leagues.
"Finishing up this time with a third brilliant breakout at Class AA, check out 19-year-old Dominican Oscar Taveras.
Also an outfielder, with a similar profile to Kang, Taveras is presently hitting .310-10-34 at Springfield for the Cardinals system, with 12 doubles and a .980 OPS over his first 41 games.
Taveras possesses a career OBP of .379 (85 walks to 165 strikeouts), and like Kang nearly as many triples (19), as steals (23). This suggests gap power and speed for both players, not to mention the possibility of tremendous base-running potential."
Yeah, yeah. Colby Rasmus didn't work out the way we wanted. But then again, if you're under 30, Tony LaRussa has a tough time accepting you as a man, let alone a ballplayer. Maybe Coach MaDreamy can take this young stud under his wing and let him flourish.
It's probably not going to happen. And even if it did, it's not like everyone can be Bryce Harper. But still, keep an eye on Robinson these next few games. And tell me you wouldn't at least unleash the beast for a few weeks and see if he's instant fire like, ahem, Pujols, ahem, was.
At least we'd get some cool Oscar related memes and shit, right?
Now, the Friday Links...
- Zuckerberg gets passed a note. LINK HERE
- How have we not thought of this until now? LINK HERE
- Beer. LINK HERE
- Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh. LINK HERE
- Finger Taekwondo. LINK HERE
- Friends. Got to love them. LINK HERE