Bachelor Live Blog: Episode 8

Written by athooks on Monday, 18 February 2013 21:00.

Last week, Obama ordered a drone strike against our hearts, we bore witness to an errant eyebrow kerfuffle and sparkle? TAKEN.

But Tierra wasn't lying when she said men love her, because she's already engaged. Seriously.

This week?

It's hometown date week.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression... Head & Shoulders VALIDATED.

7:04 - Lots of unanswered questions about this 'marriage' of AshLee's. Like did the city clerk not ask for an ID? Did they still go to prom? Did the bride double as the flower girl?

7:12 - Show of hands... Who knew the twist tonight would be Jeff Fisher being AshLee's dad?

7:16 - Friends, that's what you call a hard close from Coach. Even had the crocodile tear come down the cheek. Dick Vermeil is somewhere, happy.

7:25 - I've spent 5 minutes trying to come up with a semi-family friendly fish slash Bachelor joke. Mercy. Insert your own joke here.

7:35 - Big Sis? More like a big cock block. But the more important question is why the back of the refrigerator facing the dining room? Somebody call the Property Brothers ASAP.

7:50 - I don't know what y'all are talking about. Looks like the Army is pretty cool to me. Didn't know you got to make out and stuff during basic training.

8:00 - That moment when you ask the General to marry his first born can be awkward. Handled it like a pro.

8:09 - Wait, the tent isn't in the canyon?

8:12 - AWWWWWWW HELL NO! The old boyfriend put on his best Polo shirt, tucked it into his jeans, discovered a pair of balls and decided to crash the hometown date?

8:17 - And it was a prank.

8:20 - Nate. The brother. He's got it all figured out. Plus some bitching knuckle tattoos. What about relationships, Nate? "PFFFT. Lot's of guys will make you happy. That's not what it's all about."

8:21 - Nate, what about if this really happened and Sean proposed? "I'd be saying to myself, there's NO WAY this would work out."

8:28 - Nate, what was on your word of the day calendar? "Reciprocation."

8:30 - Couple of things here. 1) Anyone that had 'BOLD' tatted on their hand is not the kind of guy that plays well on The Bachelor. 2) Holy pointer finger.

8:32 - Nate, you think he's the one? "This guy is not the one." And if you disagree, he'll poke your eyeball through your skull.

8:50 - Nate was raised in a tent. And in the grand scheme of things, he shouldn't be expected to know how to act on reality TV. Let's not forget that when we all pile on Nate tomorrow.

Then again, Nate has been the most interesting thing about this season.

SEAN... quick, change your mind. We need Nate back! NAAAAAAAATE!!!

CUT: Desiree

TOMORROW NIGHT: Filler so ABC can milk 2 more hours out of the show.

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