Last week we gave death a deep tease, only to be brought back to life by a ginger. Tierra made the best case yet for the right to choose. And Sean got turned off by photos of prostheses.
Women and kids, head for the shelter... we're getting some L-BOMBS dropped.
Also, belief systems will be SHATTERED.
7:04 - Annnnnnd, if every woman didn't hate Tierra before her 32 year-olds are 'cougars' rant, they do now. 32 isn't old... she's SEASONED.
7:16 - What? What is that one thing you haven't told AshLee? What? WHAT? WAS IT MURDER? DID YOU MURDER A BABY?
(She got married as a high school junior. Lulz.)
7:20 - It took 12 hours and 20 minutes, but we've got our first L-BOMB. In fairness, felt like Sean was fishing for it.
7:37 - The Tierrorist dropped a qualified L-BOMB on Sean. Always the safer move to use the 'I'm falling in love with you', that way you it doesn't make you look bad when you're getting laid on the Bachelor Pad in 3 months.
7:39 - "I can't control this eyebrow!" - Tierra
7:50 - Nothing says true adult love like measuring a guys feelings on who he lets ride shotgun the most.
7:59 - And with a single frame, I present to you the next Bachelorette.
8:11 - Ooof. She wanted to share love. He went to pick fruit. Typical Washington red tape for the hopeful political staffer. TYPICAL OBAMA.
8:22 - Men. Love. Me.
8:24 - Pretty appropriate that these woman are staying at the Buccaneer Hotel. Because their last shreds of dignity have been raped, pillaged and plundered. Eternal singledom AHOY!
8:40 - Tierra has been sent home. Her sparkle has been taken away. And tears will have to find a new role model.
8:56 - When another contestant breaks down in tears because you've been sent home... you might be the next Bachlorette. But for tonight... it's like we've all had a drone strike... AGAINST OUR HEARTS.
CUT: Tierra, Lesley
NEXT WEEK: Major Dad. Bro isn't on board with Playboy Sean. Balled fists.