Miley Cyrus has been lambasted for her VMA 'performance' Sunday night.
This Buzzfeed article has been viewed millions of times and truth be told, I don't know if any of the points the author made were "wrong".
The whole thing was weird.
Lots of tongue wagging. Lots of stoned dancing bears. Lots of foam fingering. Some 2 Chainz, Robin Thicke auditioning for 'The Penguin' in Ben Affleck's Batman and twerking.
Lots of twerking.
But the kids, Hooks... THE KEEEEDDDS! They were exposed to sex and sex things. Innocence is all but a memory, bro.
Ok, so no.
People are going to remember this VMA for Miley's misfire. Or if they're more generous, a brief *NSYNC reunion. But the performance of the night came from Bruno Mars who absolutely killed "Gorilla".
The chorus of the song above? "You and me baby, making love... like gorillas".
Correct. It's a song about banging like gorillas. Totally OK coming from Bruno Mars. But some provocative dancing from Miley and... THE KEEEEEEDS!
And no, I'm not going down the 'that's sexist' road. Even though I could.
We're just flat out missing the point.
Miley is under the impression that to get to sexy, she must act in a certain way. Do X and get to Y. Kind of like a math problem that has a definitive resolution. When in reality, sexiness is like a song. It comes in different ways from different people.
Emma Stone? Sexy funny. Grace Potter? Sexy musician. Anna Kendrick? Sexy Twitter feed.
Think about who you think is sexy. Bet you a buck that the one thing that every single name you could think of has in common is a confidence in themselves. A knowing that what they're doing might not be perfect or conventional or popular.
It may manifest itself in unconventional ways... but the confidence to be themselves is what makes them attractive.
Anyone with a decent body and a passable face can get on a stage and dry hump a three story teddy bear to get attention, if given the opportunity.
But attention doesn't mean your sexy. It means you wanted attention.
Miley Cyrus desperately wants to be looked at as an adult. She got shit for 'getting engaged' too young. She got shit for being a kiddy star. She's on a mission to show YOU, Mr. & Ms. America that this isn't Hannah Montana anymore.
She pops molly. And twerks. And licks Robin Thicke's neck in front of his wife.
It's not sexy though. Because we know she's trying too hard. She wants it so bad it oozed through your HD TV and turned you off. Way off.
She's a cute girl. And talented when she wants to be. So let's all stop jumping on the dogpile and get in her ear... sexiness is being yourself. Even when you don't really know who you are.
She can figure it out eventually. And if she's honest about it, she'll get what she wants.
Even when she realizes that it doesn't matter all that much anyway.