It's Week 6.
Last week the Stop Snitching efforts were thwarted by Emily claiming that she cherishes nothing above above a good snitch. Kalon mis-read Emily and assumed that she also thought her kin blood was "baggage" and our favorite mushroom farmer was sent to that big fungus patch in the sky.
This week Croatia. Home of the Museum of Broken Relationships. Finally. After all these years. Someone is recognizing the greatness of The Bachelor franchise.
I can't wait to visit their (presumably hefty) curation. Maybe Bentley can cut the ribbon? Or just kind of hang out in a live exhibit?
7:04 - Croatia? Really, this is what Croatia looks like? Who else pictured this?
7:11 - Ryan misses the "Mean Man" that appeared when he was on the football field. At least he doesn't have, like, a 6+ minute highlight reel from his days playing from the Green Bay Blizzard floating out there. Oh, wait. He does. You'd be hard pressed to find 6+ minutes on the ENTIRE league out there, I would have assumed.
7:16 - Travis. Gets dumped on a dinner date. Still has the awareness to grab the wine. Well, played... OH WAIT... here come the waterworks. Nevermind.
7:17 - The tears? I guess we've come to expect them. But throw in an umbrella toss in the rain? I was ready for The Smith's to be playing next to a dumpster or something.
7:33 - HollyWolf goes one armed on the log toss? Of course he does. St. Louis does 3 things well: 1) T-Ravs 2) Murder and 3) Upending logs. Yeah, bitches.
7:37 - Arie eats bananas effeminately.
7:50 - Did I just hear a back door L-Bomb? I think I did. We can't count it as the first official L-Bomb since Chris qualified it so much, but he's sending out some feelers on it.
8:01 - While Ryan and The Maynard eat oysters, let's check in with HollyWolf back at the house and see if he's worried.
8:09 - Ryan has a list of the Top 12 things he wants in a "trophy" wife. #2 LOGICAL #4 ENCOURAGER (Is that a word?) #7 MAGNETIC (As in she will literally attract metal objects) #12 CATCH HIS EYE (I swear, I'm not making this up.)
8:11 - Ryan is on the ropes. She wants a family.
8:13 - The Maynard goes for the knockout... but Ryan is NOT GOING DOWN LIKE THAT. He's off the mat. He's landing some body blows. He. Could. Be. Talking. Himself. Back. In. This!
8:21 - KO'd. The Bachelor: Augusta seems to be a possibility now.
8:25 - I'm going out on a limb here. But if you're talking to the cameramen on your final ride off the show about how you're going to be edited, It's hard to believe that you're on this show for love. Call me cynical.
8:41 - Bubble? Probably sending home? Does not compute... It's time for HollyWolf to step it up.
8:42 - That's my dog.
8:56 - Emily decides at the rose ceremony that neither Doug nor John will get a rose. Because BOTH guys will get a rose. Exquisite drama, friends. These are the moments we watch for.
Cut: Ryan, Travis
Next Week: Prague. Super Seriousness. And Arie may or may not be boning a producer of the show on the side, which could lead to some tension with The Maynard.