It's week 7 of The Bachelor: Winemaker.
Last week we had ejections that led to first kiss bumbling, iPad dumping, dry crying and some super scrapbooking. A very enjoyable 2 hours that will be hard to top this week. Let's try...
Also, all quotes without comment are The Model's unless noted.
7:04 - The Divorcee is brought to tears by her dumping roughly 1 hour and 56 minutes early.
7:12 - Afraid of heights? I don't think so. People afraid of heights can barely watch open-door helicopter rides. They don't sit in the closest seat to missing door. Acrophobics are no longer rooting for you Lindzi.
7:13 - "Holy (bleep) balls." Shit? Ass? Dick? Fuck? Lindzi seems like the kind of girl that would go with ass balls.
7:21 - The Model is the apex of conceit. An unreal player. When you can casually toss out suicide as a solution to not getting something you desire, in this case a one on one date? That's commitment to yourself.
7:32 - "Easy. Peasy." I hope he regretted that the millisecond it left his mouth.
7:34 - Lobsters. Much more agile than expected.
7:46 - "Snap."
7:47 - The Model is getting a casting director a big fat bonus check at the end of this season. I honestly don't think you could script this woman any better if you tried.
7:49 - We've got to meet The Model's family, don't we? Even if somehow she leaves, do we still get to meet the family? Please?
7:58 - "Each step, I left behind the hurt."
8:07 - The Model delivers the double barrel 'kill shot' as she puts it.
8:14 - Here's an idea. Have a show on the web where it's just a camera on The Winemaker, or whoever the Bachelor is, and we can watch them in real time see the premiere of these episodes. Would it not be fascinating to see reaction shots from these people? You could even extend it to other characters. You know The Model is screaming at the TV during some of these episodes. Get on it ABC.
8:24 - Rachel's biggest fear in the world is sharks? What the hell is going on tonight? Where is this woman encountering sharks? She's a fashion sales rep from Southampton, MA. Did he have a bad one night stand with Joe Thornton?
8:32 - Kaci B with the L-BOMB!
8:34 - Probably a bit too early for the L-BOMB. She got the rose, but he's still got to go to Clarksville TN. She now doesn't have that card to play after he leaves there.
8:43 - "Ben isn't the only guy in the world. Let's get this party started."
8:56 - YESSSSSSSS! The Model is in the final 4. Emily getting edged out by Nicki was a big upset. Couldn't do much more than she did on the date. Besides sleep with him. Or get naked in the ocean. Next time, Em. Next time.
8:59 - Of course The Model is completely ok with having a wild tarantula crawl all over her. This woman is astounding in new ways each episode.
That Clarksville charm shines through as pop-pop tells Kaci B. that he ain't on board with this here stinkin' marriage idea. Oh, and we get to see The Model's parents and what appears to be a sister-ish person.