It's week 6 of The Bachelor: Winemaker.
Last week The Model took her clothes off and... hmmm... I think some other shit happened? But The Model definitely got naked. Let's get it.
7:03 - The Model on Panama City: "It'd be great to go skinny dipping here too!"
7:05 - The Model on The Winemakers date with Kaci B: "He's trying to weed out the ones he's unsure of."
7:08 - Coconut 'whacking' is Kaci B's big turn on?
7:16 - The eating disorder lasted "about a year"? Are they like mononucleosis? Sophomore year? I think any eating disorder needs to have a longer shelf life than a Christmas stollen to get sympathy roses. But that's just me.
7:25 - The Model on canoe rides: "I'm sooooooo wet."
7:26 - Here's a picture of The Model showing her bare breasts to 3 little boys.
7:36 - Seabiscuit again references her 'Dumpsville' residence. We're 6 weeks in. How does a rich, hot girl get dumped by text message? It doesn't happen like that. Where is the skeleton? Why isn't The Winemaker pressing harder to find out? GAH!
7:41 - The Model on her competition: "These girls are so immature. A lot of them aren't even that sexual. They're making it easy on me." You'd have to hate her if she wasn't 100% correct.
7:49 - Poor Doctor. She's so out of her element here. When you're at the zoo, you watch the tigers. You can even enjoy the tigers. But don't dangle meat on a stick over the cage. Because the tiger is going take the meat. And you're left to play with your own stick.
8:03 - "She uses her sexuality a lot with Ben. I don't know why." If you ever thought that nose rings equaled promiscuous, Rachel is proving you wrong.
8:12 - We've got a SCRAPPER people! We've got a SCRAPPER. Blakely has a full on scrapbook replete with The Winemaker's full name scribbled on the front. It's time to abort this mission, Ben, I don't care how spectacular the breasts. ABORT!
8:15 - Ladies, when you get that urge to scrapbook, step back, take a moment, collect yourself, then don't.
8:16 - We have to assume that last scrapbook page is a picture of Ben with whoever wins the Bachelor covered in pig blood, right?
8:22 - A scrapper and a CHEATER! Casey S is 'pratically living' with some character named Michael back in the States. He's probably not happy with his fiancee playing a gameshow where the big prize at the end is getting married. Or not. Maybe he's cool like that.
8:23 - "Maybe I should be in therapy or something." This season has certainly found the most self-aware contestants.
8:32 - The Winmaker banishes Casey back home to be with her boyfriend. And while she takes that long limo ride home, she tries to muster up some tears that don't materialize. She's a rare dry crier. A make-up manufacturer's wet dream.
8:44 - How cute. The divorcee is falling in love and has no idea she's being cut next week.
8:47 - Is this her first kiss?
8:48 - Did she see this move in a Teen Beat one time?
8:50 - This is her first kiss.
8:51 - We have our fist 4 knuckle in mouth cringe of the year. I'm embarrassed for everyone.
8:55 - Jamie gets the smooch... of death. Our third of the night.
Hint: The Model does not not get a rose.