Re-hashing a Pirates series is like remembering a funeral. Unless something mind-boggling went on, the event happened, everybody did what was expected and you move on. The Cardinals won 2 out of 3, the Bucs were a walking ad for Cymbalta and you don’t want to face Joe Mather in a case of Twister.
Move along. The meat grinder doesn’t stop.
Over the weekend, I try to take some notes on things I find interesting and then bring them to you- the beautiful people- on Monday morning. I use the phrase notes, loosely. Since it’s mostly what I can remember thinking would be a good note if I had something to write on. Or if someone wanted to pay me to mention something, that would work.
The point is, I think I thought I had some witty shit to say about Tiger’s neck, surprise party keggers where you don’t know anyone and a real live Buddha handing out fortune cookies at a charity auction for sick kids.
But then I found THIS.
And yes, you read that correctly. It’s a business whose business it is to sell you genital crabs so you can pour them on your ex-lovers bed and ‘exact revenge’. They also encourage you “not to judge”.
When I first saw this- I was all AWESOME- finally that cheating wench will finally get her curmudgeons. You think you can break this guys heart and not get an STD inflicted on you? HA- much away little buddies. FEAST!
Then I was all like- wait a GD second. You mean to tell me that my roommate can order these too and dump them all over our house in a fit of drunken tomfoolery? This place is going to be condemned! Will these things eat the load bearing walls? Does Terminex even have a noxious spray for this!?
I’m so confused.
So I’m leaving it up to you, comment makers. Persuade me one way or another on the veracity of this company. And to make it worth your while, I’ll send you a vintage 1987 STL Cards bumper sticker if you push me to one side or the other.