The Sirius radio has not been powering on in the morning for a several weeks now, forcing me to listen to the wasteland that is terrestrial radio. And I want to ask all of you that endure this audio enema every day a very serious question:
Is there anything worse in the entire world than the white guy trying to act black while reading the traffic on the urban station?
I mean these are the seeds of a DJ Qualls movie, no? Obviously this super-Caucasian is being told by some middle manager to ‘hip-hop up’ his traffic report. And not wanting to lose his 3 dollar an hour radio gig he’s trying like hell to be Lloyd Banks. Unfortunately, he’s more Carlton than The Wire.
I’m not a black person. But if I was, I think this would be offensive to me. Hell- it's offensive to me now. And I couldn't be more pale.
You’ve got two choices Hot 104.1- either hire someone that actually is black to read the traffic or let the white guy give a straight traffic report. That’s it.
In other news:
David Freese was named the Cardinals opening day third baseman. Cards Diaspora happens to know more than a few people that went to high school with this guy. Perhaps we can dig up and old girlfriend or two and chat online? Nahhh…
Jason LaRue decided he wanted to back-up Molina on the DL, too. X-rays are scheduled today. Rumors that the porn ‘stach had to be shorn beforehand were not only unfounded, but hurtful.
Jamie Garcia hung on for a starting spot in the rotation. If I was less lazy and anyone at all gave a shit, I’d dig up the post from January where I called this. Young, left-handed pehnom? We look forward to him playing center field in 2016.
Albert Pujols? Albert Pujols crushes home run.