Normally not seeing a extraordinarily tight NFL game with playoff (real and fantasy) implications would drive me out of my fucking skull. But not this fall. Not when the Jersey Shore is fist pumping it’s way to Best Show Ever status.
And because baseball is going to be hell-a boring until Holliday makes up his mind- it’s time for a Jersey Shore re-cap. We used to do this every Thursday for American Idol… but now we’re reviving it for Jersey Shore on Fridays:
Snooki: Proves she’s not worthy of military deployment after having an apoplectic breakdown from not seeing her mom for 2 weeks. Takes a big, white honyack out of the bar and begs him to boof her on the beach. He giggles and makes her giggle… but in the end, Snooki is blue-balled again. Get’s punched out by a meathead at a bar. (Pictured to the left)You read that right. A fully grown man punches her lights out over some cherry bombs at a club. Rightfully, the bar erupts in a brawl and the perp gets arrested.
Ronnie & Sam: The fall out from Sammie Sweetheart giving a cop her number continues… as Ronnie storms out of da’ club to dress down to a towel. Sam tells the camera that this is how relationships go: you fall in love, everything is ga-ga, people drift apart, arguments erupt and it’s over. And yes, they’ve been dating for 3 days. Literally. She then admits that she’s not good in relationships. And that black guys have huge dongs. Oh, and that she banged Ron after the argued some more.
Pauly D & The Situation: Follow along. The boys scam on some Shore 5’s. Get them to come back to the house. On the walk home, they stop at a light to cross and 2 Shore 6’s are in a Benz. They holler at them and get THOSE chicks to come back to the hot tub. Well, the first 2 storm off. Back at the house, the 6’s turn out to be no fun… but what’s that? The 5’s have found the house! Now all 4 are there, so the boys decide to “jump on the grenade” and got with the 5’s and kick the 6’s out. The Situation get’s into bed with his chick, but Pauly’s girl cock blocks big time. The second girl this episode to leave The Situation’s bed without being satisfied. Twitter reacts: Nobody’s going to confuse this guy with Marino Rivera anytime soon.Vinnie: Get’s uncomfortable with guy talk at the barber shop. Talks Sam off a cliff about Ronnie. Let’s hope this dude has a meltdown in him at some point.
J-Woww: Get’s dumped. Get’s back with her boyfriend. Grinds on Pauly D again. Get’s caught by… Sam’s cop!!!??? Get’s dumped. Tries to get back with her boyfriend… all on a duck phone. Come on people. You’ve got to be watching this show!
Now some links…
The most interesting staircases in the world. LINK HERE
The Tiger Woods VM's and Texts are now being illustrated. LINK HERE
Cool video of the known univerise. Best in HQ. LINK HERE
Beer truck breaks down... figure out what happens next. LINK HERE
At least it wasn't a dog that wouldn't put up a fight? LINK HERE
Do you still need to x-mas shop fo your man? LINK HERE
What were the chances we didn't link to the Jersey Shore Name Generator? LINK HERE
Please do us a favor and send out any articles you like on the CD via Facebook Connect, Twitter or any of the other applications you may use below. It helps spread the word about CardsDiaspora and makes you look cool as hell at the same time.
Peace and love.